Remember...

OCTOBER 28th

2011-10-28T11:40:00.002-05:00

For Thou didst form my inward parts;

Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb.

I will give thanks to Thee,

For I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Wonderful are Thy works,

And my soul knows it very well.

My frame was not hidden from Thee,

When I was made in secret

And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth.

Thine eyes have seen my unformed substance;

And in Thy book they were all written.

The days that were ordained for me

When as yet there was not one of them.

Psalm 139:13-16

October 28th...

March 3rd, 1979 to today = 11,917 days of life.

October 5th, 1985 to today = 9,883 days as a daughter of the King.

January 5th, 2000 to today = 4311 days as a wife.

June 29th, 2001 to today = 3,773 days as a mother.

October 28th, 2008 to today = 1,095 days of extended life.

October 28th, 2011 to tomorrow = ...

[I am] His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that [I] should walk in them. Blessed be the God and Father of [my] Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused [me] to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, from the dead, to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for [me] who [am] protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. Ep 2:10; 1 Pet 1:3-5

Thank You Father!

Choosing the Meat

2011-08-30T12:50:00.006-05:00

I know I do not write on here very much. I always wonder what people are really interested in. My daily routine stays pretty much the same and I don't even really bore Luke with all the details of that! There are the funny stories of my kids, but I worry sometimes that some of these will prove to be embarrassing to them as they get older and are able to freely read what I have shared about them with the whole world! They are entitled to some privacy, right? Then there are my thoughts. I struggle here too, because I have many thoughts. I am not sure when to share. When is God laying something on my heart, that He wants to change in me, am I supposed to share it? Does that take the heat off of me? Does God just want me to make changes and live them or to share them as if they were changes everyone needs to make?
A while back I changed the title of this blog from my name (it was created to keep people updated on my condition when I was in the hospital,) to 'Remember.' I did this because of one of the things God has laid on my heart very heavily for the past three years. I do believe that God puts us through things and allows us to experience circumstances that will either cause us to come to a point of surrender or defiance. In these moments, when we choose to surrender and let Him lead and take control, it always works to bring Him glory and often to change us in a way that makes us more like Him. And these are moments we are meant to remember, and NEVER forget. Not only are we to remember these moments, but we are to remember them correctly so that God is always the one being glorified. When we don't remember these things properly it can lead to pride and a false sense of accomplishment. And that is not a good place to be!!
When I came home from the hospital, fully aware of my second chance at life, I knew I wanted to live life focused on the eternal; on the things that really matter. One of the ways I decided to do this was to revamp my quiet time. I have always been a bit wishy washy in this area. I had never read straight through the Bible and although I had read most of it through out my life, I did not like the idea of just reading through. I enjoyed studying topically on the things that were affecting my life at the time. And for this reason, I was not very consistent. When I came home I was determined to read His whole letter to me, from begining to end. I found a 90 day challange and decided to try it. This was a big deal for me. I am not that fast a reader, and I am seldom left alone without interruption for more than ten minutes at a time. But I was determined. I would read even on the days I didn't 'feel it'.
I LOVED IT!!!! Reading straight through in such a short period of time meant I would still remember the beginnig when I came to the end. I have never had a problem believing in the inspiration and infalibility of the Word. I have never had a problem with so many authors and such a span of time being in one book, but to read it so quickly made it come alive in ways I had never seen before. The continuity throughout the whole book JUMPED of the page!!
I decided that for at least the next few years I would be relying soley on the Bible as the text of my quiet times. I do not have a problem with Christian books others have written. I think they are great, but I had decided that I needed to spend a considerable amount of time in JUST the Word. Eating of the meat He has provided for me. Trusting His Holy Spirit to highlight and teach me. And These three years have been a time of increadible amount of growth for me. I did slow down the tempo a bit. I have read in six month perionds for two years and plan to do it in a whole year next year. Each time It allows me a little more time to regurgitate, meditate, analize and study what I am reading. I LOVE IT!
It will never cease to amaze me that each time I see something new, something I never saw before, something deeper than I thought was there. His word is truly living, active and moving!!
I hope to always remember correctly and to never forget!

A Proud Momma!

2011-05-25T16:24:00.003-05:00

I have two overarching dreams for all of my children. First, I desire for each of them to come to a saving knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ in their lives. Second, because I believe that God planned our family, and placed each of our children in our family, I believe all of my children have a calling and that they are to be salt and light to those around them. I am beginning to see them do this in our neighborhood and at church. But today was a very proud moment for me.

I went to my oldest three's award ceremony this morning. All of my kids have done very well this year, but this has been Abigail's first year, and she has loved every second of it! She leaves the house smiling, and comes home smiling. All of the kids in her class had received their award, as had she- for beautiful handwriting. So I turned of my camera and sat down. But Ms. Monroe proceeded to say: "I have one more award I'd like to give to a very special student. This young lady is such a joy to have in class. She is always happy and she makes everyone around her happy. She is a friend to all and is a true peacemaker in our class...Abigail Panter."

I was so proud. Of course I believe this about my child, but to know that other's see it and feel impressed to acknowledge it, makes me feel like she is seeing Jesus and is reflecting Him back to others around her. -Thank You Father for my sweet Abigail Joy. Thank You for giving her such a big heart. Protect her and keep, Let her always shine brightly for You. Amen!!!-

'Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven' Matthew 5:16

A Journey

2011-05-11T16:50:00.000-05:00

Life is a journey, each step, each day, each event gets me one mile closer to my destination. My 'vehicle' has been surrendered to the 'GPS' which has been set by God on the exact route he wants me to take to get to that destination. I must follow those directions carefully and in order. If I take them out of order it will greatly complicate my trip, while also wasting gas, time and will require correcting my course. I must remember where I have come from, work hard to walk obediently today, anticipating the trip tomorrow, and looking forward to the journey's final destination where 'He who began the good work in me, will be faithful to complete it...' Phil 1:6

I also pray the same for my husband, my children, and those I love.

Blessed Beyond Measure.

2011-03-09T12:16:00.012-06:00

I will be a year older next week. This is yet to be a date that I dread. I hope and pray that it will never be one. It has instead become a date were I find myself looking back on the faithfulness of my Father and seeing just how much He can squeeze into my lifetime.

I love my life. Not because it is good (although it is,) but because I can see tangible proof throughout the years of God;s personal involvement in my life. I become increasingly more convinced that no one's life is mere chance, and that everyone had an eternal value and purpose in their existence.

I truly believe God created me, and then simply because of His surpassing grace and loving kindness, He chose me as an instrument for Himself. I may not always know what task He has for me to do each day, but I KNOW He has me here for His own good pleasure. I rejoice in that privilege in a way words can hardly express. I rejoice even more when I think that He has chosen to give me the privilege of walking this journey with Luke, He is a treasure to me and I am constantly amazed by the way I see God's hand on Him. And the joy we both feel and having been blessed with five precious, amazing, incredible, loving, human beings; whom I pray will all willingly become an instrument for God's good, is indescribable.

My children are still young, but I already find myself, at times, mourning their infancy. It was so special to me. I loved getting to hold my sleeping children and dream about the future God had planned for them. I loved hearing them breath and feeling it on my neck where they slept. I loved hearing them hum in contentment as they ate in complete peace and security in my arms. I miss those days already. I do love the deepening of our relationship and the increasingly complex levels of our relationships as they grow and begin to understand different thing. I know I will miss these days too, and am trying SO HARD to commit these days to memory and storing these days up in my heart. But I know, and I look forward to the relationships we will have as young adults and close friends. I pray we will be fellow brothers and sisters in the not too far future.

I am grateful for every breath, for every day, for every smile, hug, laughter I am blessed to be a part of. I am privileged to be useful to the Almighty, Creator, Sustainer, and Savior of my soul. I am truly blessed beyond measure!

Here are two passages that have impressed me lately; both are prayers. The first is a prayer for provision, and contentment, the second is one of praise. You do not have to read on, but I am sure they will bless you as they have me.

Two things I ask of Thee,

Do not refuse me before I die:

Keep deception and lies far from me,

Give me neither poverty nor riches;

Feed me with the food that is my portion,

Lest I be full and deny Thee and say,

"Who is the Lord?"

Or lest I be in want and steal,

And profane the name of my God.

Proverbs 30:7-9

Oh give thanks to the Lord, call upon His name;

Make known His deeds among the peoples.

Sing to Him, sing praises to Him;

Speak of all His wonders.

Glory in His holy name;

Let the heart of those who seek the Lord be glad.

Seek the Lord and His strength;

Seek His face continually.

Remember His wonderful deeds which He has done,

His marvels and the judgements from His mouth,

O seed of Israel His servant,

Sons of Jacob, His chosen ones!

He is the Lord our God;

His judgements are in all the earth.

Remember His covenant forever,

The word which He commanded to a thousand generations,...

...Sing to the Lord, all the earth;

Proclaim good tidings of His salvation from day to day.

Tell of His glory among the nations,

His wonderful deeds among all the peoples

For great is the Lord,

And greatly to be praised;

He also is to be feared above all gods.

For all the gods of the peoples are idols,

But the Lord made the heavens.

Splendor and majesty are before Him,

Strength and Joy are in His place.

Ascribe to the Lord O families of the peoples,

Ascribe to the Lord glory and strength.

Ascribe to the Lord the glory due His name;

Bring an offering, and come before Him;

Worship the Lord in His holy array.

I Chronicles 16:8-15,23-29

A pause

2011-01-24T20:12:00.005-06:00

This picture as taken while I was in the hospital and then blown up poster size to be given to me.

Today I will take a break from my memories to share with you an essay my daughter wrote in for a writing assignment. Hannah is in fourth grade and is none years old. She still brings up this event in our lives every now and then and when asked to write about an eventful memory, this is what she chose to write. (I will write it as is without editing it at all.)

Mom's Accident

Hannah Panter

It's October 28th, tow days after Sarah was born. Usually it is calm, but today, total opposite! Mom was in bed resting, Oma was in the restroom, and my brother, sisters, and I were eating a vomitroshious supper. "Blugh!" Noah said. " "This is naa-stty!" "Yeah." Abigail agreed. "Veggies with jello don't mix." While we were sitting at the table complaining. Oma had just gotten out of the bathroom and was checking on mom. "Oh, my goodness!" She exclaimed. Mom's lips were blue! "Emily!" She raced to the kitchen where we were still complaining, and asked us, "Hannah, tell me you phone number, zip code, and address. Quick!" So while I was filling in the blanks, screams were coming from mom's room! First Oma called dad, then 911. Dad was coming in the door just as the paramedic was lowering mom on a stretcher. We all dug our heads into the cough cushions. We ran around the house praying. It was like half a month and mom hadn't come back yet. One day dad explained to us what the doctor had said to him. "Well guys, mom's heart is sort of...kinda...leaking. There's also something wrong with her lungs too. Guys, I just want you to be praying even more, because the doctors told me something...mom might even die. In fact, not even might. They said...will." The other half of the month passed by. Mom was still pretty unconscious. It was horrible!We spent another month without a mom. You wouldn't want to be me. Now I know how orphans feel. Sad. Lonely. Two more weeks past by while I was going to school with my neighbor, coming home without the usual "Hello" mom would give me, and baby saying, "Mommy?" But amazingly, we got word mom was walking! Hooray! We put up banners, made cards and even visited mom in the hospital. It was the third time mom got to hold her last baby in two months. Forty-eight days. Dad came home from the hospital that night. And mom was with him. From then on, you know, usually it's calm, but then totally opposite!

An exercise in memory part V

2011-01-17T11:27:00.003-06:00

1989 we moved to Punta Arenas, Chile. This was by far my favorite location, although I loved each place we lived for the stage of life I was going through at the time. Punta Arenas and all the surrounding area is beautiful, and there is so much to do if you are a person who enjoys nature.
I remember our first day of school there. They had all of our middle names listed first on the roll at school so the kids thought Jason (Thomas) was black, Jeffrey (Shane) was oriental, I (Kristin) was from Europe, and Joel (Phillip) was a toss up between American or French! We all took to school quickly and I believe I can speak for all of us and say we all had a pretty good experience.
Our house was neat. Once again we were all blessed to have our own room, and I think Jeff even got a space to himself in the basement for a music room of sorts. He and Jason got a pattern to a puppet and proceeded to make several versions of this pattern each. Dad helped them build a puppet stand and this became a regular part of our Sunday School mornings.
We served in all three of the pastorless Baptist churches. They were in three very different locations of town, so we would rotate. Eventually Dad would guide them through joining and becoming one church, we began by meeting on Sunday evenings in one of the fire stations in town. I remember going early to se up the chairs (just so), but not until we had swept up all of the many cigarette butts and ashes.
I loved that God always seemed to locate us very strategically so we could be helpful to mom. We lived two blocks away from a bakery and a physical therapy office (which began working with Jonathan from the time he was just a few months old.) We lived just around the corner from a quiosco (a small, general store type place that worked for small errands.) Two or three blocks in the other direction was a fruit and vegetable store. So we kids, even the young ones, were able to experience tremendous feeling of freedom and safety as we were allowed to roam to these places and help mom out.
I loved our many weekend trips to the beach to go beachcombing and our trips to see the penguins. I remember it was always so windy on these trips it was a challenge to stand upright and breathe. All the trees in the whole area of this region grow sideways as a result of these strong winds. We went to a fort where the first settlers of this region lived. But one of my favorite places was Torres del Paine; a national park where we often went camping. This park had many, many lakes and not a single lake was the same color; and each one was a shade of blue you never knew existed in real life, outside of doctored picture. One of these trips was just Dad, Jeff, Joel and me. Dad had terrible hay fever and spent the whole weekend sneezing and when we played a game of cards in the tent, he placed a handkerchief on his lap and would periodically ‘milk’ his nose. On our way home we stopped at a river to fish one last time. Dad had bought a special lure he was told always worked. And sure enough, he got a bite on his first cast! It was a huge fish. He reeled it in and we saw it right there in the water as we waited for someone to go get the net. But as we were waiting it snapped the line. So we had to try again. As we fished we saw the first fish periodically jump out of the water trying to shake the lure free of its mouth. When we decided to quit and were loading into the car, we looked up, and right there, not even 15 feet away, was a fox crossing the road…with a duck hanging from its mouth!! It was so cool!
I have so many wonderful memories in Pta, Arenas I cannot possibly tell them all. But I remember it as being a special time of family because no one else was around. I remember many good things and some rather awkward things. I had a cast on both feet there (not at the same time) Jeff had a back brace. I got some of the worst haircuts of my life…no, I got THE worst hair cut of my life there…and I think mom did too. I became a ‘young lady’ in Pta. Arenas—awkward. I straightened my hair once there with a perm. Joel would have a tough time with school till they would finally realize he was dyslexic. But I also remember that everyone in town, it seemed, knew Joel; he was a social butterfly. Jonathan was absolutely adorable these years. Jason would graduate and leave home. So many changes, but mostly all for the better and all a huge part of who we all are today.

An exercise in memory part IV

2011-01-15T12:51:00.005-06:00

Our first stateside visit was in December of '89. Jonathan was just a couple of months old. I remember Aunt Becky picking us up at the Amarillo airport. She had an ice cream tub full of puppy chow for us to snack on. This would be the first real memories I would have of any of my relatives. My grandparents house in Borger, TX would also become the only thing in my entire life never to have changed. This first trip would last four months (while we were out of school) and would involve lots of visiting, shopping for our crate and eating out. My grandparents owned a Christian bookstore that was part of their home. I loved looking around in it. And they had an intercom to the house and I thought that was so cool.
Some of my favorite thins on this trip? Going swimming at the college, eating at Mr. Gatti’s Pizza Buffet, going roller skating, and playing dress up in MaMa’s old dresses and high heels with my cousin Amy. We would play for hours on the back patio, pretending that we were flight attendants and that the pilots of the plane where our boyfriends. We would go to the park and watch our brothers do tricks on the swings. Someone loaned us a brown suburban. We would load up and drive to Amarillo to go shopping. Amy and I liked to ride in the back facing backwards. I was amazed by WalMart and Toys R Us.
Going to church and visiting the school was a little intimidating for me. I felt out of my element and uncomfortable with my grasp of the English language.
We would also go to DFW area and visit my Mema and then my Papa Bill. I had no previous memories of them before Chile. Joel and I would ride in the back. We would sit facing each other with the side windows to our backs. We would pretend that everything we saw out of the window in front of us was ours. This would entertain us for hours. We would have to take turns listening to each others music, and for some reason my music seemed to annoy the boys (mostly Amy Grant and Sandy Patti.) These trips were fun and in a way a whole lot slower paced than the Dietz side of the family. And on this side, I had two girl cousins, Anna and Abigail, and my brothers had no boy cousins! Yay for me! Mema lived in a cute little house in Arlington and Papa in a mobile home in Irving. He had trains and bar stools that swiveled.
This trip was a fun one. Just long enough. By the time we would head back I believe we were all ready for some routine again. Only we would be moving back to a new city: Punta Arenas, Chile located on the tip of the southern cone.

An exercise in memory part III

2011-01-14T08:35:00.002-06:00

August 16th, 1985 (my Parents 16th wedding anniversary) we arrived in Chile. We would begin a stint in Temuco, Chile that would last till December 1988. I will only address memories in this time frame in this blog. I was 5 years old when we arrived, and it is at this point that my memories begin to take on more flesh to them. I will not bore you with every single memory I have of this time, but I will highlight a few. I would like to say, that despite the usual sibling arguments,I had a very happy childhood. I am keenly aware that I was privileged to experience so many things that other children my age were never exposed to.
When we first arrived at Temuco, we stayed in an apartment located on the bottom floor of a school building. The ‘Colegio Bautista’ was a very large school that would hold many memories for me in the years to come. Not only did I go there for K-3rd; but this was the location where all the missionaries would meet for one out of the two annual meetings, so it had a feeling of a family camp ground to me.
The fun thing here is that when classes let out, my brothers and I could go anywhere on this enormous campus. To the play ground, the covered gym like patio, or the many cool places where we could hide in a game of hide and seek.
After this short stint we moved into a rental house for a while. We called it the ‘Prieto house’ (that was the name of the street.) My first and worst memory here was that we had not gotten our crate yet. We had no window coverings. My parents but newspapers on the windows; one of the pages in my room was a front page picture of a boy, about my age, who had been bitten by a brown recluse. It was the stuff of nightmares. I don’t know why I didn’t tell them it was there, I’m sure they would have changed it.
This was also the house we were living in when we bought our TV. I guess it had been a while since we had had one, because I came home from spending the night with some other MKs (missionary kids) and was shocked and so very excited! I told the rest of my family to keep it quiet and not to tell my brother Jeff (who had also spent the night but hadn’t made it home yet) anything. I suggested we see how long it took him to notice the TV. Everyone agreed. So, of course, the minute I heard the gate…I ran outside screaming at the top of my lungs that we had gotten a TV!!
This was also the year that I began to notice some things. I knew my family believed in God. I believed in God. I believed in Jesus. But I also knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if I were to die, my Parents would go to heaven, and I would go to hell. I was aware of the fact that their life was theirs and that mine was mine. I was solely responsible for my life alone. I was petrified. I remember asking my mom every night before I would go to bed if she thought I might die that night. I was very worried. Finally one night she asked me if I wanted to talk to my dad about this fear. I said YES. Well, he was in the tub, but I would not wait, I had business to take care of! We talked and I understood my need to personally acknowledge to God my short fall; to recognize the work that Jesus had done on my behalf; and I had to personally accept that free gift and then willingly surrender my lie to Him as Lord and Savior of my life. I was so relieved! This was October 5th, 1985.
We would then move into what is still my favorite house ever! The ‘Massmann house’; it was amazing! It was an old country style home. It was very large and we each got our own room. The yard surrounded the whole house and in the back there was a little ‘hill’ that was fun to roll down. This house was on a dead-end street and it had a guard’s station so I was allowed to freely roam the street. It was here I learned to ride my bike; an activity that I would love to do for years to follow. I would ride up and down the street while pretending to be a news journalist.
One year we had a hurricane type storm although we were inland. The winds were unbelievable. Well, because our whole yard was fenced in by a 6 foot rod iron fence, my parents let us go out and play a little. We would go to one end of the yard run a little, jump, and the wind would carry us the rest of the yard! It was a blast. Joel and I would have to run to the inside corner of the house just to breath!
This yard also had a huge pine tree in the front yard. The limbs stretched about ten feet in every direction, but they didn’t actually start until about six feet of the ground. This created a shelter of sorts. It would become a favorite play spot for me.
It was also in this house that my Mother experienced a miscarriage, and then later another pregnancy resulting in my youngest brother, Jonathan. I was almost ten when he was born. He has Downs Syndrome. He has proven to be one of the best things in my live. He has taught me unconditional love, a joy for life and all of its experiences. He has taught me to appreciate the things that come easily to me and to work hard at the things that do not. He is a masterpiece of God and has the ability to teach the world so much about what really matters. I love you, Jonathan!

An Exercise in memory part II

2011-01-12T21:20:00.005-06:00

Mom and Dad surrendered to the call to missions. I don’t remember many details of this next phase in my life either. I know we were in Richmond, VA for orientation and I remember one day of preschool lice classes there. I also remember there being a man who could talk like Donald Duck, but that is all. We also went to Costa Rica for a year for language school. My memories there begin to get a little clearer, but not too much. I remember a few days at Little Lights, my preschool. I remember eating rice and beans with every single meal (and I loved it—I still do.) I remember the rain being punctual every day and that you could outrun it or simply cross the street to the dry side. I remember walking to school every day while dad would tell us parts of the Lord of the Rings. I remember getting a new baby doll for my birthday. She had beautiful black STRAIGHT hair. I told mom and dad I would take perfect care of her…a few days later they scolded me for finding her on the floor :(. But by far, one of my absolute favorite memories of all time was Christmas.

We had nothing at all to decorate with. Mom has always made Christmas in our home very beautiful, and very special. We bought a tree and then we bought lots and lots of paper. We made all the ornaments for the tree. We made a fireplace for the wall with a fire and even the silhouette of a black cat off to the side. We hung some of our socks over the ‘fire’. I loved it. It was very special. I must mention, I do not remember it, but Jeff has never let me ‘forget’ the boy I was found hiding behind the couch with kissing.
I seem to remember no one in my family really caring for Costa Rica, but I have no bad memories that have stuck with me from that period of time. And as I have already mentioned, I was and still am very fond of the black beans and rice :).

An exercise in memories part I

2011-01-12T14:47:00.007-06:00

True to the name of this blog I have made the conscious decision to be more intentional about remembering. And, of course, that has had me thinking back to some of my earliest memories. I am fortunate enough to have been born into a large (by today’s standards) family. I am one of six siblings (five still living.) I am the only girl. I am the middle child, but I also qualify as a firstborn (in personality) due to being the first and only one of my gender. I do not have any memories of being alone as a child. As a matter of fact, when I hear my children talk about their memories and especially when I hear my husband talk about his memories, I realize just how few memories of have of my very early childhood. I do not know why I did not retain many of these memories; perhaps it was the timing of my families move to a foreign country and all the other things my brain had to deal with, such as learning a new language. Regardless, the memories I do have are like a trailer to a movie. They exist in scenes that are in no particular chronological order, nor are they particularly significant events. They are just what I remember.
I was born in Greeley, CO; but lived in Windsor, CO for the first five years of my life. I remember taking a nap one day with my mom, and waking up in time to pop some popcorn and feed it to the birds as we waited for my older brothers, Jason and Jeff, to get home from school. I remember wanting so badly to play with my big brothers and I remember three of these special occasions. Once I played G.I. Joe with them and some other kids from the neighborhood. I was one of the girl team members and I had been kidnapped and taken to the sandbox (which my dad built me in our back yard.) The other Joel were going to rescue me. I did not realize that I played in my box most of the time just waiting for the ‘rescue’, I was just happy to be a part of the game. Another day I was Jason and Jeff’s detective agency secretary. I would stay in their room, answer the phone and cook them food while they were out solving cases. I am beginning to see a pattern here—I was really gullible. One day I actually got to go to a friend house with my brothers. I believe the boy we were playing with was an only child. I seem to remember he had a lot of toys. But the event that made this day memorable was that he didn’t seem to want to interrupt play time and had an ‘accident’ and I thought that was odd since he was older than me.
Again I do not know why there are the memories my mind has locked away to remember, but they are. I do also remember always choosing ‘Clap Your Hands’ as my pick to sing on the Sunday evenings where we would sing from the hymnal as people picked songs. I loved that song.
I remember going to my Mama and Papa’s with J & J without my mom and dad. Mama painted me up like a clown one day and on another day they took us to the store to pick out any candy we would like. I chose marshmallows and J & J picked packages of bubble gum. They then proceeded to chew multiple pieces at once and blew a bubble so big it got stuck all over their faces.
I do not remember much about these first few years. I do not remember my younger brother Josh at all. This saddens me. He was born when I was almost 3 and died a year later. I wish I had some memory of this. I also do not remember my younger brother Joel being born either. Somehow my memories of him begin when he was about two. He is in most of my memories from then on. I had a love-hate relationship with both Jeff who was 4 years older and Joel who was 3 ½ years younger. My oldest brother Jason has always been (in my memories) the peace keeper with me. He was probably too old (6yrs older) to really do much with me. Yet I do remember his last year at home feeling particularly close to him as he let me tag along with him quite often.
I also have a younger brother, Jonathan. He is awesome, and I will discuss him in a later post since he was born after these memories took place.
I do not remember these years, but I know they were important ones. My family when through a lot these few years. My parents surrendered their lives (and our) to the call to missions. They would embark our family on a truly unparalleled adventure. Now that I am a mother of five myself, I can only begin to appreciate the magnitude of the decision they made. Their belief and commitment to God is something I will always admire and strive to live up to. They were willing to leave all their comforts and family and friends and to take their five children to an unfamiliar country on an unfamiliar continent that spoke an unfamiliar language, to minister whole-heartedly to an unfamiliar culture without any promise of how thing would be for them or for us. Those next 14 years of my life would prove to be some of the best of my life. I thank God for calling our family to missions, and I thank mom and dad for being brave enough to go; and to lead us by example in how to take up your cross daily and follow Christ.

Count Your Blessings

2010-12-17T09:46:00.004-06:00

One of my favorite movies to watch this time of year is 'White Christmas.' It is a classic and has so many great musical pieces in it. But one of my favorite songs in that movie is 'Count Your Blessings' ...when you're worried and you count sleep, just count your blessings instead of sheep...and you'll fall asleep, counting your blessings. Since I have had children I have struggled any time I wake at night to fall back to sleep. It seems as though my brain enjoys the uninterrupted thoughts it is able to have in a quiet house :). But it makes fr a very tired mommy. I have began adopting the idea this song proposes and praying thanksgiving and even intersession until I fall asleep. I'm not sure if it works faster or if I am just not as frustrated as I lay awake. But the idea is a great on for this time of year. I would like to imagine that I am sitting at the 'Christmas Tree of 2010' where God, my loving Father, has wrapped many planned out and wonderful gifts for me and those in my family. I would love to share a snapshot of those gifts. I will try hard not to forget any, but my Father is very generous, and I may inadvertently forget one.

The very biggest gift under the tree is my favorite and by far the one that my Father had to sacrifice the most to give me. The description on the outside of the box describes the gift this way: 'But God demonstrates His own love towards (me), in that while (I) was yet a sinner, Christ died for (me)...For while (I) was an enemy, (I)was reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, (I) shall be saved by His life. Romans 5:8&10

My favorite Christmas song of all time puts it this way in the last verse:

On the night before Christmas

Mary laid down to res;

while Joseph, he paced the floor praying.

And in an every day stable,

in an everyday town,

in the hours to come,

God would wrap Himself up;

And come down from heaven and the world would forever be changed;

After the night before Christmas.

~'Night Before Christmas' Steven Curtis Chapman~

The next gift I opened this year was the gift of a decade spent my wonderful husband Luke. It never ceases to amaze me how much God is able to squeeze into such a short time.
I was allowed to open a 31 year of life, a gift indeed.
I got a gift of a very healthy year, for both me and all my family.
There are few words that could describe the gift of righteous pride I have been given at watching my children blossom into wonderful people, caring of others and growing in their own relationships with my Father.
My Hannah is becoming more and more creative, as she nurtures her reading and writing interests, and uses the beautiful gift of song God has given her.
My Noah is an amazingly sweet spirit. He is always concerned about the people around him. He is concerned for their feelings, their needs and their eternal future. He is becoming quite a handsome young man.
My sweet and funny Abigail experienced the joy of growing and gaining a little more Independence by staring Kindergarten this year and she is flourishing! She is very happy and is a great friend to those around her. She and Hannah have become much closer now that they have school in common and this has been a particular prayer of mine for the past couple of years. I am so blessed in this regard.
My Lily....she is amazing. She is soooooo smart. She misses NOTHING. She too has grown up so much this year and it is always a joy to be around her (although her high pitched voice can overwhelm you at times, because it never stopped:)
My Sarah is a bundle of energy. She is funny and is learning to play well with her bigger brother and sisters. There is nothing she does not think she can do. She has an iron will, she is very independent, and she also closed the chapter on diapers for this family for a long long time!
Luke has completed two very successful semesters in his masters program.
He gave us a roof over our heads
a car (two actually) to get around
food to eat
clothes to wear
many laughs throughout the ear
some tears to put things in perspective and remind us that we still live in a fallen world.
a WONDERFUL visit with the entire Mike Dietz family in July (first time in who knows how long.)
an opportunity to see all the living grandparents on both sides of both families.
the opportunity o welcome a new sister-in-law to the family
a beautiful new niece and the help she needed with her legs (she has clubbed feet.)
a new job which is PERFECT for my little brother whom I love so dearly.
the opportunity to once more participate in Community Bible Study which has meant so much to me.
a wonderful VBS, community grill, fall festival, and 2 children's programs at church.
and so many more that I know I am forgetting at this moment.

Thank You, Father, for a wonderful Christmas this 2010. You have been good; So very, very good. I pray that I will be a good steward of Your gifts to me and that when others look at me, they see You and give all the glory to You, the giver of all good and perfect gifts.

October 26th-28th

2010-10-25T13:58:00.004-05:00

"and command them saying, 'Take up for yourselves twelve stones from here out of the middle of the Jordan,...carry them over with you, and lay them down in the lodging place where you will lodge tonight...Let this be a sign among you, so that when your children ask later, saying 'what do these stones mean to you?'...So these stones shall become a memorial to the sons of Israel forever." Joshua 4:3, 6 &7

God has done many things in my life for which I feel I need 'stones' to remember. But by far the most powerful of these happened two years ago this week. And for this event, God even provided me the 'stone'

On Sunday, October 26th, at 8:38 am God gave Luke and me a precious, healthy 9Ib, 20 1/2 inches long bundle of sweet baby -Sarah Michal Panter. Her mother could not have been happier that she was finally here, and therefor the daddy could not have been more relieved. They had threatened to cancel my induction, and when Luke saw that I was close to loosing my sanity he debated with the nurses till the snuck me in and proceeded to induce. On Monday, seeing all was well, we were both allowed to go home. On Tuesday, My oldest two went to school, excited about their newest addition, my dear friends picked up Lily and Abigail and took them to bible study, and with Luke in school as well, Sarah and I had some 4 hours to bond and rest. My oldest got home from school around 3:45, Luke followed (along with my mother) around 4:30pm. About 15-20 minutes later, the minute Luke walked out of the door to run some errands, I was sitting on ,my bed holding the just-fed, and happy Sarah. In an instant everything changed, and something was VERY wrong. We would later find out that I had had a ruptured aneurysm in my right Illiac artery.

For the next 44 days God would proceed to show His power in undeniable, and miraculous ways.

It has only been two years, and I still think of those events almost daily. They rocked my world in a very unexpectedly good way. I am so grateful to God for the 728 days He has given me since. For every single smile, laugh, hug, triumph He has allowed me to be a part of in the lives of my children. I am so grateful for every tear I have had the privilege to kiss away. I am so grateful for the husband God has blessed me with, who went through an unimaginable ordeal, and did so with such integrity and faith and hope. I am so grateful for a mother who prayed over me as I lay barely conscious moments after the rupture, who loved and cared for the precious new life, and comforted the four other scared and confused lives that mean so much to me. I am so grateful for ALL the family and friends God impressed to be heroes for me and for my family.

It is such an honor to have lived this miracle. And I pray that Luke and I and our children will know how to be the best possible stewards of this miraculous story. October 26th-28th will always be stones to our family. We will never forget!

Happy birthday my sweet Sarah, Happy Anniversary to you and to me!!! Glory to God today and forever!!!!!

"For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain." Phil.1:21

Please consider listening to this song! I want to REMEMBER this every moment of every day!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Van2daajLvg

My Father

2010-09-30T09:15:00.002-05:00

Becoming a mother has opened my eyes to a whole new level of God's love for me. I understand so much more of who He is, if only on a small and imperfect scale. But last night I was reminded of something about my heavenly Father that I cannot replicate, and that brought me comfort.
As I have said many times, my nights are VERY seldom uninterrupted. My children have bad dreams quite often, and I always pray with them and usually walk them back to bed; and that usually does the trick. Sometimes, if they persist, I will let them move to a couch in the living room and that works. But last night, Lily would not quit. I went in and sat with her and we talked (at 3am) for about thirty minutes and I finally had her calmed down and went to bed very tired. When I laid my head down the thought struck me...'I am so glad my Father does not sleep. or need sleep. He is never too tired to talk!'
I am so glad for this experience of motherhood and how much closer it has brought me to God, but I am also glad for the knowledge that my Father is SO MUCH bigger and better than I am!!!

'I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; from whence shall my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to slip; He who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, He who keeps Israel will never slumber or sleep. The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand. The sun will not smite you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will protect you from all evil; He will keep your soul. The Lord will guard your coming out and your coming in from this time forth and forever. Psalm 121

A Challange!

2010-09-29T16:10:00.002-05:00

Last year, I took on the challenge to read through the Bible in 90 days. It was amazing. At the same time I was going through a study of Genesis with Community Bible Study. This too was incredible. But one thing (of many) that both struck me and convicted me at the same time in both of these studies was how often in Scripture, women are the tool that throws a kink in things! Eve should not have talked and debated with the serpent, and then she gave it to Adam once she decided to disobey. Sarah and her 'helping God out' with Hagar. Rachel, plotting and leading Jacob to trick Isaac. Rebekah, and her flippant behavior toward God's chosen man. These are just a few. I am not saying everything these women did was bad, as a matter of fact the New Testament remembers Sarah fondly, but I distinctly being struck in my study of Joseph that when He is being tempted by Potiphar's wife the passage does not say he ever even debated with her, in fact it says "he did not listen to her" (Gen.39:10) and of all of the patriarchs, there is nothing bad recorded about how he acted.

I have met several woman who are very independent, others who are 'in charge" in their homes, others who feel like they have lived long enough to have earned the right to say whatever they think to whomever they want. It is so unattractive. I so very much want to be a soft spoken (not wimpy or weak-just not loud and overbearing) woman who imparts grace to my hearers. I want to bless my children, my husband, my friends, strangers, and i do not want to leave any of these doubting who is in control of my tongue.

This is and always will be a struggle-this will be my challange. But, I pray that I never, 'give in' or 'give up' and that I will speak life and not death. Please pray for me in this.

Beginnings

2010-08-23T12:44:00.002-05:00

The past two weeks at my house have been buzzing with expectation. I am fortunate enough to have very social children, and therefore school has always been something they look forward to rather than dread. My third, Abigail, is starting kindergarten this year, and has been anticipating it for at least a year and a half! There has been the excitement of buying school supplies, picking out a new backpack, getting some new clothes and shoes. Abigail was even excited about getting the shots she lacked to be ready for school. We met with the teachers on Friday, and the anticipation had reached its peak by this morning. There were no tears as Luke and I dropped them of to school this morning. I even had to make Hannah and Noah come back and give me a hug! There is something inevitably exciting about a new beginning. A fresh and clean start. A year full of possibilities and successes. I assume everyone starts out with great expectations and hopes. As the mother who suddenly has three less children at home during the day, there are even 'new beginnings and horizons' for me. I can expect a slightly smoother nap time. Shopping becomes easier to manage, and the messes in my house become more contained. I found myself, the last two weeks, planning my new routine and schedule, and anticipating being more successful in my endeavours.
But, expectations can only become reality if we act in such away to bring about the result we desire. Just as my Lord's mercies are new EVERY MORNING. I want to remember my past experience, look toward my goal and press on firmly, without wavering to the right or to the left, in such a way as to receive the prize. And I take courage in the knowledge that I have n ever been expected to achieve these things on my own, but I can rely on the Holy Spirit who abides in my to give me courage and wisdom to discern my actions during the day. To remind me that Jesus has already overcome this fallen world and flatly defeated death and sin on my behalf. I can choose ever day as I wake to live a victorious day, one that I will not regret.
I pray this for myself, for Luke, and for my children. I desire to see our family live a life that in the words of Steven Curtis Chapman's song "lives out loud"!!

Wonder of CHRISTmas

2009-12-06T16:54:00.002-06:00

Christmas has always been, without a doubt, my absolute favorite time of the year. The older I get and the more memories I accumulate just add to the wonder I feel and the excitement that begins building inside of me just about the time they feel the need to drowned us in ugly witch and mummy costumes. CHRISTmas is truly a season WORTH celebrating!!! I have always enjoyed the colors, the smells, the decorations, the songs, the sweets, and all of the fun traditional celebration aspects of Christmas. But the more I study God's word and the more I experience life here on this undoubtedly fallen world, I am in awe of it all. It overwhelms me to imagine an immaculately flawless creation, knowing that God created mankind to have a relationship with Him. Where HE came daily to walk with and spend time with them. Quality time is my love language so this really speaks to me. This relationship was intended. To know that, while experiencing this relationship mankind chose to jeopardize that relationship for something less that Him. In essence they said, 'You forgot or chose not to bless us with something, therefore we will bless ourselves.' It broke His heart, but He chose to restore His creation through an unthinkable process! This promise of redemption started all the way back in the garden, and all of Scripture points to it! How can I not be awestruck at the remembrance of this promise kept!! How can I make it about ANYTHING less!!!!! That wonderful night hope became reality!!! THE PROMISE was kept. I LOVE CHRISTmas. This is why I do try to transform my home during this season. I want my kids to have no doubt about my favorite season. Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you have a very meaningful season.

P.S. it is not letting me add pictures so I will put some on facebook.

REMEMBER

2009-10-28T05:47:00.005-05:00

Through out Scripture you can see a common thread of God challenging His own to REMEMBER. In the Old Testament He is constantly repeating this challenge to Israel: Remember where you were, remember how I chose you, remember how I heard you, remember where I brought you from, remember how I brought you out, remember what I promised you, remember how faithful I was, remember my commandments, remember…remember…REMEMBER. He even dedicated 17 books in the Old Testament to prophesy (Isaiah through Malachi) 15 of which focus mostly on reminding Israel and the world of who God is, what He has done, how they have FORGOTTEN and what the consequences of their short memory will be! The Pharisees would know these prophesies in and out, their problem in the New Testament, was their failure to remember AND apply what they knew to be true!
We must be careful to REMEMBER who we are, what God has done for us, generally and specifically and we must ACT on our knowledge. Those of us who are believers must remember we were completely lost, helpless sinners, dead in out sin, enemies of the Living and Holy Creator of the universe (Rom3:23; 5:6-8.) God provided us redemption (Rom 6:23). He sent His only Son Jesus Christ (Jn. 3:16,) who came in complete humility and obedience (Phil. 2:5-8; Heb 5:7-8,) while we were still sinners (Rom 5:9-11,) He dwelt among us (Jn. 1:14) and He lived a sinless life (Heb 4:15; I Jn. 3:5,) He died a sinner’s death (and He defeated death once and for all! (II Cor. 5:17-19) He then asked the Father to send us His Holy Spirit who teaches us all things and BRINGS TO OUR REMEMBRANCE and those things which He has done and which He has taught us (Jn. 14:26.) PRAISE GOD!
I never cease to be amazed at how quickly the Israelites forgot their 400 years of slavery and at every bump in the road, on their way to God’s long awaited promise for them, after such a miraculous delivery, they always seemed to want to return to their previous life of captivity. how could the possibly forget the things that the had SEEN!!
Today marks one year form the most physically miraculous experience of my life thus far. He saved my life physically (He saved me 24 years ago spiritually) and showed off his power and sovereignty in a very big way. I am eternally grateful for every extra day He has allowed me to be here and be a tool for Him. I am shocked though how much the clarity with which I remembered last years events has faded. I still remember, but every day it has had to become more of a conscious choice to wake up in the morning and REMEMBER that each day is a miracle, a gift. I am committed to remembering, but there have been a few days where my joy has not been what is should have. I WILL REMEMBER and I WILL TELL OF HIS MARVELOUS WORKS. I am VERY grateful for this written blog, a road map of my journey, to remind me of the details my feeble mind forgets. Thank You God, for what you did, last year, before that and since then. I love You and acknowledge that I only am who I am because of You.

October 26th, 2008 Sarah is born

December 11th, 2008 44 days since I
had held Sarah.

March 13th, 2009 My 30th Birthday

October 26th, 2009 Sarah's 1st Birthday

“Lord, make me to know my end
And what is the extent of my days;
Let me know how transient I am.
“Behold, You have made my days as handbreadths,
And my lifetime as nothing in Your sight;
Surely every man at his best is a mere breath. Selah.
“Surely every man walks about as a phantom;
Surely they make an uproar for nothing;
He amasses riches and does not know who will gather them.

Ps 39:4-6

I waited patiently for the Lord;
And He inclined to me and heard my cry.
He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay,
And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm.
He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God;
Many will see and fear
And will trust in the Lord.
How blessed is the man who has made the Lord his trust,
And has not turned to the proud, nor to those who lapse into falsehood.
Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders which You have done,
And Your thoughts toward us;
There is none to compare with You.
If I would declare and speak of them,
They would be too numerous to count.
Sacrifice and meal offering You have not desired;
My ears You have opened;
Burnt offering and sin offering You have not required.
Then I said, “Behold, I come;
In the scroll of the book it is written of me.
I delight to do Your will, O my God;
Your Law is within my heart.”

Let all who seek You rejoice and be glad in You;
Let those who love Your salvation say continually,
“The Lord be magnified!”

Ps 40: 1-8, 16

My soul, wait in silence for God only,
For my hope is from Him.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
My stronghold; I shall not be shaken.
On God my salvation and my glory rest;
The rock of my strength, my refuge is in God.
Trust in Him at all times, O people;
Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.

Ps 62:5-8

Jesus Freak Club

2009-09-11T20:00:00.002-05:00

About two weeks ago I found Hannah working hard on something. I asked her what she was doing, and she proceeded to show me a paper that was titled

'Jesus Freak Club'
Time:9:50-10:05 Friday morning.
Place: Shelter house stage.
President: Hannah Panter
...and then there was a list of students.

So I of course asked her what this was. She said she was starting a club and that they would be singing songs, listening to stories and playing VBS games. I asked her why only some of her classmates were listed, and she said that she knew not everyone would be interested. But after I pointed out that they might not know that she was leaving them out she decided to invite everyone in both third grade classes. The next day she made out hand made invitations for the kids. One for the boys and one for the girls. She did a great job. She showed her invitations to Luke and he was so impressed. But she forgot to take them to school. That afternoon Luke told her she could make some invitations on the computer if she wanted to. She loved the idea. I helped her put it on the computer under her strict supervision, copies were made and off to school. She asked her teacher if she could pass out invitations and permission was granted. She forgot to pass them out to the other class yesterday, so she passed them out at the beginning of recess this morning. All the kids got into it...not quite 'getting' it, but willing to check it out. At the end of recess some of the kids showed their invitations to their teacher and she asked who had handed them out. Hannah raised her hand. The teacher took up all the invitations and sent Hannah to see the principal. She was told she could not start a club that was not school sponsored because it might be divisive. We understood the argument. They are not restricting her from doing anything during recess she just can't call it a club and hand out invitations to it. She was very hurt and embarrassed, but we explained to her that she was not in trouble and that she could still do her activities. We are so proud of her and pray that this hiccup does not discourage her but that she will continue to be a shining light in a group of kids who need Jesus.

Growing Up

2009-09-05T17:37:00.004-05:00

Sarah is consistently taking four or five steps together at a time. I fully expect her to have this walking thing down in a week or so. For some reason, walking seems to be a milestone that takes babies into the toddler stage. God has made it abundantly clear that our family is complete (unless He really surprises us in the future) and therefore, for the first time in nine years I am beginning to realise that this beautiful, wonderful, irreplaceable, difficult time in our lives is on its way out. We are entering a new stage in out family, one where our children's personalities are really beginning to flourish and each one is falling into their own little niche in our family. THIS is what the Luke Panter family is going to be and look like. This is so amazing to me. To see my children becoming individuals. I am so grateful that God has blessed us with each one of them. I did not know it until now, but we are only now complete. Sarah was such a surprise, and it took me so long to get used to the idea of having five, but BOY would we have been lacking without her. She is such an amazing joy!!! She brings a smile to each one of us every time we see her. It is with a little bit of sadness that I consent that my children are growing. And it is with humble awe and expectation that I await the next chapter, and the one after that. What a wonderful book life is turning out to be. Thank You, my Loving Father, for EVERYTHING.

Oh Yeah!

2009-08-20T18:30:00.003-05:00

You know it has been summer time when you all of the sudden remeber that you have a blog, but can't remember the last time you wrote on it:)

We have had a blessed summer, Hannah has turned 8, Noah has turned 7, Lily has conquered the potty, Abigail can spell her name correctly and is considerning letting me teach her...anything..., Sarah is growing way to fast for her mommy and daddy and is trying her very hardest to walk. We have so enjoyed having Luke around a little more while he takes a short but needed break from school. We have gotten to go a couple of places, have taught the kidds all kinds of new board games, and have read many a funny books this summer. Our time spent with our familiees has been priceless and even more meaningful this year. I even got to sit next to my husband during thee different church services this summer!! That was a real treat.

Summer is coming to an end now (I am so done with this heat!!) and the kids go back to school monday. I feel like we are getting this school year off to a really good start. I look forward to my kids growth this year both physical and spiritual. I think that may be the most rewarding thing about watching them grow. As they get older and can better express what they are thinking, I never cease to be amazed at how much they have already learned and figured out 'on their own' I pray that they stay n this course and that they all grow to know Jesus as their Creator and Lord and that they find ALL their value and worth in that knowledge. That they would believe, as I do, that God has created each one of them to be who they are, where they are, in the family that they are in, to live where they do, surrounded by the people that they are...for a reason...HIS GLORY; and I pray that they would daily present themselves as holy LIVIG sacrifices to Him as instruments, in His most capable hands, for HIM to use as He sees fit, knowing that that is the only way that they will truely LIVE and achieve anything.

I hope you all had wonderful summers, but if you did not...Take heart, He knows where you are, because He has been there the whole time. Whatever you are going through has a purpose...I pray that He will allow you to see the results of your faithfulness and bringg you through this time stronger and closer to Him. I also pray that we all will have a blessed year, remaining in the center of His perfect will.

For the record

2009-06-29T13:37:00.002-05:00

I did post more pictures of Abigail than the others. That is because we didn't have a digital camera with Hannah and Lily doesn't look quite as much like Sarah. Also, Sarah is not quite as photogenic as all my other girls were...She's beautiful, but in most of her pictures don't capture her truly.

Answer Key

2009-06-28T18:30:00.001-05:00

Good try people!!:) I think they all favor each other quite a bit...but they still have their own little looks. The answers are: A,S,A,L,A,S. Thanks for humoring me:)

who wants to play:"Name that baby"?

2009-06-27T21:58:00.010-05:00

your options are Abigail-A, Lily-L, and Sarah-S

Catch up for the past couple of weeks

2009-06-23T09:59:00.003-05:00

Summer has been good so far. Busy, but good. Sarah is a fast mover now, and is working on pulling up. Lily is doing fare on our potty training endeavor and she got her ears pierced Sunday. Hannah is a HUGE help and is enjoying reading time. Noah is begging to feel the pain of being the only boy out of five children :(. Abigail is as sweet as ever. Luke doesn't know where to start with his 'free' time but has managed to have something to do every single second. But that has been good for him. I have not really figured out a good schedule yet but that will happen.

Studio go! Game Show (our VBS) went GREAT! we had a really good turn out (of mostly unchurched people) and it was so much fun.

Luke Set up the pool yesterday; so that also promises to be fun for the kids (if I can just keep from worrying to death).

Summer

2009-06-05T10:24:00.003-05:00

Summer is here. The kids are all home and it will take a few days for all of them to get used to being together all the time again. So, they will probably be spending many days separated in their rooms. But I am looking forward to all the fun things we are going to get to do this year. Sarah is growing like a weed. She is getting her second tooth (as a matter of fact she is teething on my laptop as I write this:) She is VERY close to crawling and is sitting herself up. She has already tasted a few bites of food off my plate and shows no sign of slowing down any time soon. I love my family!! I hate east Texas heat, but I think I will manage to enjoy this summer anyway.

Some Field Day Pics

2009-05-29T18:56:00.011-05:00

yes, she is 'fabulous'

2009-05-28T10:11:00.004-05:00

I sit here today on this Thursday, May 28th, in the living room watching my precious and chubby seven month old Sarah bounce up and down and tackle her toys. I realize that it has been seven months today since our ordeal began; and I feel comfortable saying it has pretty much concluded and overwhelmingly well- all to God's credit.
I saw a young lady at library yesterday who I have met once or twice before and she had not seen me since. She told me she had heard my story and began asking me questions. One that she asked was if this event had changed how I see life, and I said yes. It has helped me see life in the context of eternity, and to realize that life is a precious and short experience and that we have the daily choice to make: do we let the small irritants of life suck the joy out of us, or do we live each day grateful that we are able to experience such irritants. I have a poster that I have always liked that shows a cartoon character holding an ice cream cone and looking down at the scoop of ice cream which has fallen on the floor and is melting. The caption reads something like this: "bad things happen so that we will be able to recognize the difference between them and the good things in life." If I have the ability to get irritated at something it can only mean that there must be much better things in my life that are not so irritating for me to compare them to...
...funny...I just had to pause this entry to take care of the spilled bubbles in the girls room which I had specifically hidden high and out of their reach, only to discover that Lily had just dirtied the pair of panties she had put on not five minutes ago. God has a good sense of humor doesn't He? :)...

So to review, yes, this event has changed how I see my life. But more than that, it has developed how I see God. It has helped me understand a little better the concept of His sovreignty. He is absolutely sovreign. I have come to understand His goodness, and not because of the fact that He chose to spare my life, although that helped. I have come to see a little better that the mere fact that we exist to begin with is His merciful act toward us. The fact that we continue to breathe in and out is an act of His grace every second of every day. He continues to sustain the lives of believers and unbelievers alike because He is gracious, even when it cost Him EVERYTHING. He gave up everything to redeem mankind --the ultimate show of His love and grace; and because we are all tainted by sin we know that not a one of us merited or deserved that grace. How can we say that He is unfair when some choose to deny the gift He has freely given them but that was NOT freely obtained!!! Every day that He gives us is an extension of His grace, and in the life of believers, death is our passage out of our sinful and imperfect flesh into His marvelous light--what grace!! We know His ways and His wisdom are so vastly higher than ours that it baffles me that we would seek to judge God's mercy, grace, and justice by human, imperfect, vastly limited standards. What a privilege it is to be called children of such an awesome, all loving, and all caring God. I pray that each one reading knows my God personally. I know without a doubt that the reason I am still here is to introduce as many people as possible to Him and His unbelievable grace. God bless your day-- and since you are alive enough to be reading this...I take it He has (not because of my words, but because you have just breathed another gracious breath of life.)

So hard

2009-05-23T17:58:00.001-05:00

Did I push the potty training thig a little to hard? B-)

report

2009-05-21T20:17:00.002-05:00

Well, I new today was going to be challenging. And it was. I now days like these come, but I still find myself being thankful. Thankful for monotony, for a healthy body that can train my children (and fail.) But I am able and I am thankful for days like today that remind me I need Him every hour of every day and that I will fail and have to stop and ask Him to take over again and do things as He sees fit. I am also grateful that He made night time :) and gives us a break from learning for a bit. Tomorrow will be a new day (if God wills it) and we will try again...thankfully.

Back to the basics

2009-05-21T10:58:00.002-05:00

Now that I am all better (praise God!) I suppose I can no longer realistically put off the inevitable. I must get serious about potty training Lily. This will require much patience on my part since she is especially independent. She can do it, I am sure, but only does when SHE feels like it. I am rely trying to refrain from saying things out of anger or frustration that I cannot take back and I know I will regret later. My children know I love them, but because they know I care, I think it hurts them even more when my words are unnecessarily unkind. Please pray I will be firm yet loving and that Lily will see success very quickly in this next growing challenge. Thank you all for caring about even something as 'yucky" as this. Love y'all!

Wonderful times

2009-05-19T18:38:00.005-05:00

This weekend was a real treat! Saturday we went to the Hyde family reunion. This is Luke's Paternal grandmother's family so there were four generations of the family there. It is always neat to see all of those folks. The kids look forward to it every year. The jumping pillow was huge! It is a great idea!

***

Sunday we baptized a new sister: Hannah Lynnae Panter

And we got to spend the day with mom, dad, and Jonathan (oma & opa.)

It was a great weekend.

PLease pray

2009-05-13T09:40:00.002-05:00

I would like to elicit the many prayer warriors out there to pray. Two of my dear friends from Community Bible Study (who were very involved and faithful to my family during my ordeal) both have a loved one in a health crisis. I have not gotten permission from them to share details so I will only mention their names: Katie and Mary. Please pray that they would be comforted in God's sovereign mercy and that their loved ones would get the best possible care and would heal fully and quickly. I thank God for a body that prays for each other in Jesus precious and powerful name.

Thank you for caring,
Emily

High speed!!

2009-05-11T16:17:00.010-05:00

We have had a very big week! Monday evening Hannah decided to give her heart to Jesus and will be getting babtized Sunday the 17th. Saturday, Luke graduated with his degree in biblical studies from the Criswell College and will be taking some well deserved time off. Yesterday we celebrated a wonderful and special mothers day. And to top it all off, we got high speed internet hooked up here on Friday so I can share all of that info with you in record time :).

I will now proceed to overload you with information. You have my permission to quit any time you get tired or bored.

I wanted to share some of the Panter Funniest Home Videos with you

1. Aren't You Happy?

2. A-Bi-Gail, The excited big sister...

3. Lily and the Kitten

4. Modulate

5. I Have Eyelids

Thank you God for beautiful laughter!

Sorry I'm so scarce

2009-04-29T10:39:00.003-05:00

Well, we haven't signed up for high speed yet, and Verizon refuses to come out and fix our phones. So I am only around the Internet ever so often. But I wanted to write and let everyone know of my milestone. I went to my Bible study yesterday and we were studying the resurrection. I realized that it had been six months to the day from my ordeal, and I though that was pretty cool, and doubt it is a coincidence. We serve an awesome and sovereign God and I am privileged to have experienced His miraculous power in such a public way. Not a day goes by that I do not think of that day, and I am daily grateful for today, for my next breath. Praise God today that He is not finished with you yet, and that you are still useful to Him.

Good Report

2009-03-30T12:21:00.002-05:00

This is Emily's mom reporting in; Emily has internet problems, and asked me to give an update. She went for another CATscan several weeks ago in Greenville, and she said it was obvious that most of the fluid and hematoma were gone, but she didn't have the official results. Luke dropped off the results in Dallas at Dr. Shat's office, and she received a letter from him last week. In it he said that everything was back to normal and then added "HAVE A GREAT LIFE!". He was always one of our favorite doctors, because he is so positive and funny. He spent a lot of time with Emily, and was so encouraging. Once again, we thank the Lord for all of the excellent care which Emily received at Baylor.

Her recovery continues to be a miracle for which we praise our Lord. I must admit concern for her, however, because, while her body has healed, for the most part, from all the surgery and trauma, she is back to being a full-time mother of 5, and that is exhausting for even the most healthy mom! I know she would appreciate your continued prayers. She assures me she is being very good about not overdoing it; she is fully aware of her limitations.

Thanks again for all your support and encouragement.

Thank You For Life!

2009-03-17T15:56:00.002-05:00

I was privileged last week to celebrate another year that God has given me. It was a very special birthday, and I can’t help but think that I have learned to appreciate every single day He gives me to watch my children grow a little bit bigger and to see them figuring new things out. I am so grateful for every hug I am able to enjoy from them and from Luke, my tangible rock, who had to endure so much this past year. I hope we can all realize that each day we are given is a day that we remain useful for God’s kingdom. I hope that even on those ‘bad’ days we can all still appreciate that life is beautiful. He was so wonderful to give us so many pleasures in life. What a gift it is to experience it with our senses, our thoughts, our emotions, and our memories. Let me encourage you to give someone a hug today and tell them that you are glad that they are here, and that you have the joy of knowing them.

Like father like daughter...

2009-03-05T18:52:00.001-06:00

I cought Abigail preaching in the living room. I started out by just trying to get audio. I was afraid if she saw me she would quit. But she saw mw and did not. It is kind of long, but it is really cute!!

Cat Scan

2009-03-05T18:43:00.003-06:00

I went Wednesday for a second Cat Scan for both Dr. Spak and Dr. Pearl. Considering how worried the technicians were last time, and how normal they were this time, I suposed that the results were considerably better. I have not given the disc to either Dr. Spak or, Dr. Pearl yet, but my family Dr. called me with the radiologist's results. There is still a hematoma, and there is still fluid (both of which I expected.) But they have both improved. God continues on a daily basis to give me new victories and increasing energy.

Random Pics

2009-02-19T16:40:00.005-06:00

Christmas at the Panter's

My cousin Anna and Sarah

The kids and Mema

The kiddos with theur PawPaw Bill, Uncle Joel and cousin Carrigan

updates

2009-02-19T16:39:00.001-06:00

Well, I finally have something interesting to write about. This weekend was the first time I have been away from Luke or the kids overnight since everything happened. I was going into it a little apprehensive. It was a leadership conference for Community Bible Study of which I am a part. It just so happened that my first follow-up visit with the head Dr. on my case, the vascular surgeon Dr. Pearl, was right before on Friday afternoon. I was looking very forward to that. Dr. Pearl was always very nice when he came to see me and always had something to say about how amazing it was that I was still here. I was looking forward to showing him how much healing God has done so far. We had to wait an hour and a half to see him (he is sometimes delayed by surgery.) He was excited to see me and Luke both and commented on how nice it was to see me in real clothes J He explained that the night of the surgery he had looked over every main artery and vein for any other weaknesses and had not found any at the time. He is pretty sure that my situation was random and not due to a medical condition that would continue to create weak spots on my veins. He wants to see the results of the 2^nd cat scan I have to get which is to see how well the liquid and the hematoma are reducing. If the size of my stomach is any indication the reduction will be substantial. Dr. Pearl said that unless he sees anything (which he does not expect) he does not have to see me again!! HE also said I was released to drive. Its amazing how many excuses you can come up with to run to Walmart J Having such a good report freed me and Luke both to have a good weeked with out any worries. God is so good. Thank you again to all of you who have continued to lift me and my family up in prayer.

Mom's visit

2009-02-06T13:22:00.003-06:00

Mom was just able to spend the past two weeks with me. It was a wonderful visit. I assume it was more like what she had expected the visit to be back in october. Thanks for coming mom! I love you.

To all whose addresses I do not have...

2009-01-26T13:42:00.002-06:00

Dear Family and Friends,

I am so happy to finally be writing you this particular mote. It has been long overdue.
Isn’t God wonderful? I am home and doing wonderful. My strength and appetite are coming back steadily and God continues to show His goodness and mercy to our family. Neither my family nor I could have made it through this without the knowledge that prayers were being rendered on our behalf. I would just like to write this little note (which in no way comes close to expressing adequately how I feel,) to say thank you! You are amazing and your thoughts, prayers, gifts, and helpful hands have done so much to make all of this go easier and smoother. We are so grateful!

For those of you who are interested, I will keep up the blog and write some of what God continues to show me, and maybe some funny family anecdotes. I pray that God blesses you as you have blessed us.

In Him,

Emily Panter

& family

Baby Steps

2009-01-20T16:31:00.002-06:00

Well, Luke started back to school yesterday. Because of that, and the fact that my strength is growing. I have stayed home alone with all the kids for a few hours at a time. So far no real problems have arisen. I am allowed to lift Sarah, and the older kids have been very helpful when there is a task I don't think I shoud attempt yet. I have loaded the washer and dryer, sorted clothes, cleaned the kitchen and helped the kids in their rooms some. (And I am not doind these things all of the time so don't start calling Luke to reprove him.) Luke still bears the brunt of the chores sround here, and since he is also responsible for many other things, it is not always perfect around here (as if it ever was when I was in charge!) But God seems to be using it to help me let go of the things that are not as important as I once thought they were.

It seems that daily I am still running into someone I have not seen since before the hospital, and the conversation inevitably insues about how miraculous my journey has been. I continue to agree whole-heartedly and am amazed that God brought me through something which, for all intents and purposes, I should not have survived. He has healed me very quickly. He has given me the honor of seeing so many of the blessings that have affected peoples lifes, either through their faithfulness to pray, or through the testimony of God's grace, mercy and undeniable power and soverenty. Last week the door bell rang and I got to it before Luke. I was expecting it to be the kids coming home from school, but it was the paramedic. The first one on he scene; he came back a few days after the insident to check on me and had come again to get an update.

I hope I continue to learn of God's grace the rest of my life and i pray that I am always useful to Him in His plan. I hope I never again miss an oportunity.

One of the pros of being a P.K.

2009-01-17T22:11:00.003-06:00

This past Sunday night we had our monthy mission meeting at church. As the good Baptists that we are, we met in the fellowship hall and had food. There is a room of to the side where the kinds can play during the meeting. Noah came up to Luke while we were eating and said: "Dad, Becca is doing ....(I can't remember)." As usual, when Noah taddles od someone Luke sent him away with a "go on son." But then Luke happened to be walking by the room just as Noah went back in and he overheard Noah say: "Becca, I told the pastor!" Ha! I thought that was priceless:)

On a more serious note, please contine to pray for my kiddos, especially the older two. I got the stomach bug that has been going around this past week and I could see the concern of Hannah's face. She asked me if I was sure I would be ok, and then she apparently had a very vivid and scary dream of me screaming and the whole ordeal happening again. It has really been hardest on her to deal with. She understood the implications of what might have been. I appreciate the prayers.

I continue to get stronger, and learned this week that a plus of this whole thing is that it has helped me deal with my obsesive dread of throwing up. I can now handle it much more gracefully.

Memories

2009-01-07T12:34:00.000-06:00

On this date back in 2000 mom and I were just a little busy. We were checking last minute arrangements, scheduling deliveries and pick-up times with the florist, dress place and the wonderful woman who made my beautiful (original) wedding cake to match my unique unity candle (I also rebelled and had red velvet instead of the traditionalJ.) Luke was I am sure just as busy making his arrangements for after the weddingJ. Tomorrow, because of God’s wonderful mercy, we will be celebrating our 9^th year together. In that time we have lived in 7 different houses or apts. We have seen many end meeting jobs and have gone through 4 vehicles. We have also been honored to spend three of those years here at Bridgeview Baptist Church. Luke will be graduating in May, and we have been blessed with the addition of five amazing people to our family and this world. A lot can happen in 9 years and I pray God grants us many, many more (years not childrenJ.)

On January 4^th, 2005 I was going in to see my OB and get ready for my induction on the 5^th. I went in and one of the three Dr. who practiced there came in (the one I didn’t like) and said: “So you are scheduled to be induced tomorrow…” “yes” I replied with a grin from ear to ear. “Well, we are going to have to cancel that” she said flatly. I laughed thinking she was kidding, but she did not smile. “Are you serious?” I asked. “Yes, we have had too many naturally started labors come up and we don’t have room for you induction.” I was crushed. I left the room and as soon as I saw Luke in the waiting room, also smiling from ear to ear, I buts into inconsolable tears. He asked me what was wrong and was furious when I finally managed to get it out. He tried to comfort me and when that didn’t work, he took me to Culvers for the best frozen custard around.

Well, we both decided we were too ready to have this baby so we went out to eat spicy Mexican (he made me eat tons of hot sauceJ) and then we went speed walking at the mall for as long as I could stand. And you know what? It worked (or I like to think so.) That night at 1am I felt the first contraction. His mom made it to the house by 2 and we were at the hospital by 3. The nurse set me up and said they would monitor me for a few hours and see if they would keep me or send me home. Well at 5 when she checked me we were admitted and the epidural was ordered. At 8:10 am our beautiful Abigail Joy was born. She weighed 7.11 and was 20 ½ inches long. I will never forget. They put her in the warmer and she stared at me for an hour. It was so special. That was 4 years ago this past Monday, and she has lived up to her name which means ‘fathers joy.’ She has a wonderful sense of humor and is always making us smile. ‘We love you Abigail!!’

I thank God, not only for the memories, but for every day He gives me to make more. ‘Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.’ James 1:17

Oh yeah! I’ve added blog sites to my blog. Best of Becky is obviously my aunt (the one who kept up this blog for so long.) Gleanings is my mom’s blog and the rest are my brother’s and his wife (the ones in full time missions in Germany.) Feel free to check them out and keep up the communications that began during this journey.

The Holidays

2009-01-03T16:16:00.000-06:00

Don’t you just love this time of year? It is by far my favorite. Starting with the beginning of fall; all of the smells and sounds associated with it and the air gets a little crisper. I love all of it. This year was a unique one. It was a fall full of lessons to be learned about the wonderful mercy, grace and power of my Holy Father. If there was one thing my parents did especially well, it was to teach us the true meaning of Christmas. Since we were on the mission field most of my growing up years, we spent most Christmases with just my immediate family, and we established many traditions. One of those traditions was to begin reading the nativity story in sections each night for the week leading up to Christmas Eve. The younger kids always got to hold the piece of the manger scene that was being told that night. And then on Christmas Eve we would read it in its entirety and then sing carols. We opened our gifts on the 24^th and it always felt more authentic to me that way because I imagine the stable at night with the stars shining above. Christmas was then a family day. Luke and I are beginning to establish some our own family traditions (most of which we were unable to do this year,) but this year Christmas was a true reminder of the gift God gave the world of new life. I hope that in your precious prayers for my family this year, your Christmas was made even more special as well.

As the week went on and we approached 2009, I couldn’t help but thing of that hymn…count your many blessings name them one by one, count your many blessings see what God has done!... and I began to count. God has given me a wonderful husband who loves Him more than me. He has given us a ministry to serve Him in. He has blessed us with five beautiful, unique, healthy, irreplaceable children. He has given us a roof over our heads, a car to drive, food to eat, and clothes to wear. He has provided us with wonderful friends and family members who have proven themselves to be true prayer warriors and has used them to spread the news worldwide uniting the body of Christ in one cause allowing Him to display His unlimited grace and show His loving-kindness and power to so many believers and lost alike. He was in complete control every instant of my journey these past months, He brought mom home at just the right time. He gave many doctors wisdom on just the right decisions to make (not to mention the quality of doctor care He alone provided me with.) He spared me the majority of the pain by allowing me to be unaware during those first few weeks of recovery. He watched over my family better than I ever could. I could keep going and going and going because there is no end to His goodness, but I am aware that not everyone wants to read my blog all day J so I will finish with this…HE brought me home to my family before Lily’s birthday. He gave me the gift of watching them grow a little longer and for that I am eternally grateful. And He has let me understand that nothing He does is in vain or out of cruelty. Everything He does has a purpose and He has given my family the honor of being a part of bringing Him glory. May I never forget! (fortunately I have a pretty big reminder that goes from the top of my abdomen all the way down, it’s kind of hard to missJ)

I hope your holidays were as wonderful as ours.

In the way of an update; I saw Dr. Spak on the 29^th and he was very pleased with my progress. He still wants to see me in two months again at which time I’ll have to have another CT scan. This is just to continue monitoring the reduction of the fluid and hematoma in my abdomen. My lab work came back very good. All it showed was some borderline anemia so they have me taking iron. I know mom has already written some of this stuff. Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers. God bless you all.

Janis: New Year's Thanksgiving

2009-01-01T09:50:00.004-06:00

While we were at Jason's, we put the pictures on our camera onto a disk so that we'd be sure to have room for more pictures and seeing this one of Sarah surprised me. I had taken pictures of Sarah just as soon as I got to Emily's house on October 28 and had forgotten the pictures of the kids were still on the camera. Seeing Emily holding Sarah in the picture, it brought that day back very forcefully to me. I thought, "less than an hour later, everything changed!". I thank and praise our Lord again for all that He did those closing months of 2008.

I was thankful yesterday as I talked to Emily for a long time on the phone. She said she is really sore after sitting up so much over the Christmas holidays. Food is beginning to taste "right" to her again, and she said that she has figured out that now when she feels nauseated it means she's getting hungry. Of course, feeling nauseated doesn't make you feel like eating, but she forces herself to eat a little. At her follow up visit with Dr. Spak last week, she asked him when she could drive and he said the rule is usually 3 days for every day in ICU, so she figures she might be able to drive in May!

We all know her recovery will be long and slow, but none of us mind! Our plan is for me to return to Texas sometime soon to help.

I am so thankful that we were able to visit Jason, Cheryl and their children in Germany. It was a trip of a lifetime for me!

Most of all, I am thankful that our Lord holds 2009 in His hand;nothing that happens will surprise Him or catch Him off guard. Our future is secure!

Two Fold

2008-12-22T15:11:00.005-06:00

This is when the kids came to see me in the regular room and only my third time to see Sarah. Holding her has been hard because the nerve endings around my scar have bothered me, but that has been getting better and I am able to hold her more. We even took a nap together the other day. It was so special to me.

What a wonderful weekend we had! Friday Luke and I took the younger girls to run some errands and it was such a beautiful day. The older kids finished this semester. And I got to visit with my college sweet-mate. Saturday was Lily’s birthday. I can remember being in the hospital and thinking there was no way they would let me out in time for that. But I was here ( a little sore) and it was great! Sunday I went to church!! It was wonderful to see everyone and to once again be in a room with a body of believers all focusing on one thing…how great a God we serve. We then ate Christmas meal at church and the ladies had an ornament exchange. I am so thankful I was able to go. We rested during the afternoon and then took the kids to TaMolly’s and the food tasted right!! (I still only managed to eat one section of me quesadilla) but it was great. Then we took the kids to look at lights. It was a wonderful weekend.

*******************************************************************

****THIS SECTION MAY NOT BE APPROPRIATE FOR CHILDREN****

Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,

through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God.

And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Romans 5:1-5

Luke preached from Romans this week and these particular verses stood out to me. I feel the need to let everyone know me version of Tuesday, October the 28^th. The day started out simple enough. My dear friend Hannan agreed to come by and pick up Abigail and Lily for Bible study so Sarah and I could sleep. Luke had gone to class and was then going to pick my mother up from the airport. Sarah and I did take a nap and were refreshed by the time the two girls got home for lunch. They went down for a nap and I decided to sort through all the hospital paperwork and promotional stuff they give you till the older kids got home (a friend brought them home since Luke had the van.) He and mom got here shortly after, around 4pm. Well, I had been cramping all day, not unlike every other time I came home from delivering, only this time I didn’t have my hot water bottle, it had quit on me after Lily. So when Luke got home I asked him to run to WalMart to pick me up a heating pad. Mom had not come into the room to see me yat because she was bombarded by the other kids. The minute after Luke walked out of the door (I was on the bed holding Sarah who had just eating) I felt a wave of cold heat come over me, it was very different. I tried banging on the was behind my head (it faces the living room) and called Luke as loud as I could (our window was open) two or three times and then must have passed out for a minute. Mom came in and took Sarah, all the time calling my name (which I could hear.) I was hurting on my right side, could not breathe, and could not see. I remember slumping to my left and pointing to my side and saying “doctor,” it was all I could manage. Every now and then it felt like some giant was grabbing my side and squeezing as hard as they could, at which times I would scream uncontrollably (I hate that my kids had to hear that.) Mom called 911 but couldn’t remember my address and had to ask Hannah, who I am grateful has learned all that stuff. I don’t know how long it took the paramedics to get there but when they did, though I couldn’t see, my only concern was that I couldn’t breathe and that was all I would say “help me breathe.” It felt like they spent several minutes in the room, and then forever in the driveway. I could hear what they were saying but it was not really registering, all I could think was: if they’ll just help me breathe everything will be fine and I can go to the Dr. and see what they missed at delivery (I was certain this was just a little complication of that.) when we finally left for Greenville I remained conscious for some of the trip, but must have passed out again because I don’t remember being moved from the ambulance to the emergency room. I woke up able to see and breathe. They were giving me blood (which was helping my sight) and oxygen (which was obviously helping me breathe.) It has been explained to me since that when your body goes into shock all your organs push up around your heart in effort to protect it making it hard for me to fill my lungs and forcing me to scream as I released all the air in my lungs. It also appears that at the house all pf my blood started to pool in my abdomen, drawing away from everywhere else, which explains why they couldn’t find a vein to start and IV and why I could not see until they started the blood transfusions. In the emergency room they covered me with a foot of warm blankets because I was freezing and very thirsty (but they couldn’t give me anything to drink.) Luke was there when I woke up and I was not in as much pain. My OB came in and asked some questions and another Dr came in to consult with him. They did a sonogram to see if they could determine the source of the pain, but I never heard anything that concerned me. I was still convinced it was something simple. When they decided to do exploratory surgery I even considered asking them to go ahead and tie my tubes while they were at it but I did not think my OB would agree (he wanted me to wait two weeks to make that decision.) I was not concerned. Vicky (from church) who works at the Greenville hospital came in and prayed with me while Luke made some phone calls and then se went to relieve my mom at home so she could come to the hospital (thanks Vicky). While we waited for them to come get me for surgery they managed to get 6 units of blood into me. They had to move me from the table I was onto a mobile bed to take me to the OR and when they did the pain started back full force, and I must have been screaming because the surgeon told me to stop. I remember the anesthesiologist prepping me and then that is all I remember.

That is when I began dreaming, many very long dreams. Some where just weird, and some were horrible (nothing to do with doctors or hospitals.) I can remember thinking “I am so glad this is a dream and I can’t wait to tell Luke, that always helps me deal with my nightmares. The tough part was, between each dream I would see the same thing… a ceiling and then Luke and another person (mom, dad, Jeff, etc.) would walk up to my face and say “Hi Emily, it’s Luke and here is so and so, do you remember me?” and I wanted to say “yes I remember you silly, let me tell you about my dream.” But there was something in my mouth and I couldn’t talk. That was the longest and most frustrating dream of my life!! But I was convinced it was just that. I had forgotten at that point about the surgery.

You might be interested to know that my first memories of remembering and understanding where on the day mom claimed I was back. Even then I hallucinated often sometimes funny things (like when I shares a suite with the Obama family) and some very horrible hallucinations. The hardest part about those is that the events where taking place but I was seeing additional thing in my hallucinations that made the events feel like torture. That was by far the hardest part of this whole thing (for me.)

I want you all to know that although I may have been in pain, very frustrated, or disgusted by my ‘dreams’ I was never afraid. Even when the doctors would tell me you were dead I knew everything would me ok. God did not grant me sweet dreams as many of you prayed, but He did grant me His peace and the strength to endure. I believe I was meant to experience every single thing I experienced and nothing God allows is meaningless. He was not playing with me. Praise God! He was using me. What a privilege.

If I had not woken up I would have never known the difference and God would have been faithful to Luke and the kids, but I am grateful for the honor of being restored to my family and giving many a testimony of God’s mercy and power. I thank Him for the chance to watch my kids play another day. And I pray I will be a good steward of this awesome show of His sovereignty in all things; that I would never miss an opportunity to share him with others. …Tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope;…

Emily

Field trip

2008-12-18T22:59:00.001-06:00

Well, yesterday Luke and I decided it was time for me to get a little fresh air. Hannan had come by to take Abigail and Lily to story time and then to her house to play, so we ran some errands. Now granted I stayed in the car with Sarah for the first two stops, but then when we went to Walmart I got to ride in a scooter! Watch out worldJ. That was the most time I have spent sitting straight up though so today my ribs and stomach muscles are letting me have it. But it was still nice to get out and feel normal.

On a different note, one of the blog followers asked me this question:

“I had t been reading some columns by Ellie Lofara and she talks about preparing for trials before they happen. I would like for you to share about that spiritual part of your experience. I hope that makes sence! I think Becky shared enough about you that told me you were prepared, firm in the Word, sure of who you are in Christ, etc., could you share with us how the Lord prepared you for this season?!”

This is one of the things I really want to discuss in great detail when I m through reading the blog (I’m on November13th) but as a preview, For the past three years or so, two things have laid heavy on my heart One is to see the body of Christ be just that, united under one head-Christ, disregarding the differences we have that bear no meaning to our salvation. The second is maybe a little harder to explain, but here’s a shot.

I believe there is a great deal of confusion in today’s society as to why we are here, and what exactly our purpose is…Our identity. I think many choose a “purpose” in life and that becomes what defines them, to be a mother, a doctor, a star, whatever. But my question is what do they do if that purpose is taken from them? Why are they still here? I believe my identity and that of everyone is to be a child of God, to bring Him glory in all the tasks He entrusts me with, but not to become so obsessed with the task I forget it’s really all about Him.

Through this experience we have most definitely seen a unity of the body, praise God! And all of my “tasks” were abruptly stopped when I was in the hospital, and yet my children survived without me, my husband was a rock without me there cheering him on, my family bonded together and loved me, but not because I did anything…God did. I was unable to be aa part of Community Bible Study and yet it continued, our church survived not having me around. I am not saying I m useless or expendable, but I am saying that when I am awake God makes what I do worth while and effective, not me. And when I was not “here” God used me to minister for His glory without any help from me. It is all about Him.

I hope this helps you understand a little how I feel. I promise to write in more later.

Becky Signing Off

2008-12-16T21:40:00.009-06:00

I just want to say what a privilege it has been for me to blog and update you on Emily's progress these past 7 weeks. It's been an amazing journey. On October 29th, a godly woman in Borger, Tx asked me to send this message to Luke:
"When Jesus heard that, He said, 'This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it.'" John 11:4 And how true this Word became!

There are so many aspects to Emily's story. Emily will never know the amazing things we saw God do while she was unconscious and how we felt during that time. And we'll never know her struggle and what God has done in her heart through this process. And of course, we'll never know all the ways this has affected Luke, her husband, and the ways it has forever changed him. And then there's Janis, a mother who had to stand by and watch this crisis in her daughter's life and then her own daily struggle. Even though the children are young, I'm sure the older ones will have a story to tell some day. And it's a story that is the beginning of Sarah's life!

I know it's affected me. It's given me a new appreciation for the body of Christ and the unity that God desires so deeply for us. It's been amazing, being the blog-keeper, and seeing and hearing people come together so quickly and so dramatically for every need the Panter family had. Donations were given, meals were brought, children were cared for, prayers were prayed, cards were sent, photos were taken, gifts were given, their house was cleaned, pedicures were given---I could go on and on! THIS is what God intended for us to do and to be like all the time as the body of Christ. And what a beautiful picture for those who were watching to see! I only hope this lesson has gone deep into my soul--into all of our souls.

So...this will be my last blog. I've loved giving you a window into Emily's recovery. I've made some new friends and I have a lasting appreciation for Luke & Emily's friends. You're just some of the best people I know! May God richly bless you for all you've done for them. Just like you, I'll anxiously be waiting to hear from Emily and to know what's going on in her life. This will be my last post since Emily is able to do her own blogging now. Please don't quit praying for her and ministering to Emily and her family.
Blessings!
Becky

Ephesians 2:10 (Amplified)
"For we are God's [own] handiwork (His workmanship), recreated in Christ Jesus, [born anew] that we may do those good works which God predestined (planned beforehand) for us [taking paths which He prepared ahead of time], that we should walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us to live]."

Hello World!

2008-12-16T16:22:00.000-06:00

The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble, and He knows those who take refuge in Him.

Nahum 1:7

Dearest Family and Friends in Christ,

How wonderful it is to be able to write to you. I apologize it has taken this long. I am trying to read the entire blog before I really express my heart to you, but I simply could not wait. We have dial-up so you know how that is, and there is just so much to read! (I am only to November 2^nd.)

You all have blessed me more than you can know and I want to thank you for all of your thoughts, kindness, generosity, and above all for your prayers. “…and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.” James 5:16b. I have felt your loving prayers and know that God has answered and shown Himself powerful and merciful, all for His glory. There were no circumstances or luck involved in this event, only the hand of our sovereign Father, lovingly answering the prayers of His people.

Please do not stop your prayers for me yet, as I face a long recovery and am very limited in the activities I am able to do. Pray that I am able to meet my children’s needs, and praise God for my wonderful husband who, through God’s grace, has been a rock through this whole ordeal.

I go for a follow-up cat-scan and visit with the infectious disease doctor, Dr. Spak, this Monday to see how effective the ONE antibiotic they have me on has been successesful at killing the infection in the left over liquid in my abdomen. Other than that it will just be a matter of regaining muscle tone, energy and an appetite.

Even through all the pain and frustrations, this has been a surreal and wonderful experience. What a privilege to be a tool that unites so many in one accord, agreeing in prayer. What a joy to see just how big my God is and how nothing surprises Him or can stand in His way! He has protected me and my family and touched many lives in the process. Nothing He does is without purpose, even if it does not make sense to us.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts. For as the rain and snow come down from heaven, and do not return there without watering the earth, and making it bear and sprout, and furnish seed to the sower and bread to the eater; So shall My word go forth from My mouth. It shall not return to Me empty, without accomplishing what I desire, and without succeeding in the mater for which I sent it. Isaiah 55:8-11

I love you all and thank you again. I will write again very soon. ~Emily

P.S. I would like to thank Becky for all her hard work at keeping up this blog, It has been such a blessing, and will be a written account for my children when they are old enough to understand. Thank you, I love you.

Adjusting

2008-12-15T12:58:00.002-06:00

I talked to Luke & Emily just now and they said things are going well. Emily said shes' not feeling great this morning. Her stomach seems to stay upset. They've given her some medicine to try and keep it from getting upset, but it doesn't always work. And she's trying to eat more so that she has more strength and so that it eventually helps keep her stomach where it needs to be.
The nerve endings on Emily's scar are very sensitive. She said the kids have done great with her being home, but it's hard to convince Lily not to climb into her lap! Emily said it really hurts to hold the kids---and Sarah needs constant attention---but she's unable to care for her. She can hold her a little at a time, but wears out pretty quickly.
Luke said that Mary Whitty came over yesterday and was Super Nanny! They appreciated her so much. She helped with the kids, cleaned house and even brought supper. They were very grateful for her help!!
Please continue praying for Luke, Emily & the kids and their adjustment. Thank you to everyone who is signing up to help!! It's greatly appreciated.
Emily plans on reading the blog today and then Luke & I hope to teach her how to blog. So you may begin hearing from Emily!! (They have dial-up on their computer, so it's really slow and frustrating. That's the only reason she may not blog very often right now.)

Psalm 35:9
"Then my soul will rejoice in the LORD and delight in his salvation."

Sunday Evening

2008-12-14T21:12:00.002-06:00

Janis had talked to Luke tonight and I think their weekend went pretty smoothly. Luke preached at church today and we think Luke's parents brought the kids back and were able to stay with Emily while Luke was at church. I hated to bug them too much this weekend to get much of an update. But Janis said Luke had said they had a nice, quiet weekend.
And Janis is still trying to get well before they leave for Germany early Tuesday morning. Pray that the snow doesn't prevent them from leaving on time Tuesday!!

Quiet Weekend

2008-12-13T15:26:00.002-06:00

I just talked to Luke and he said that all of the kids except Sarah have gone to their grandparent's house for the weekend. Luke was working on the bathroom. He's trying to hurriedly finish up the "surprise" he had for Emily. He hoped to have it finished before she got home, but didn't. So he's almost got the tile put up around the tub.
He said Emily was holding Sarah. So I know they're probably having some good bonding time. The kids will be in the country until Sunday night, so this should be a great way for Emily to re-enter family life with ease.
I know they appreciate all of the help!

Calendar

2008-12-12T23:33:00.003-06:00

If you sign up on the calendar, you will not see your post immediately. Because we've had people break into our calendar and put some ugly things on there, we're monitoring it by accepting each new addition to the calendar. So if you sign up, it will show up eventually! Or I may totally mess up and erase what you had on there! (Which I think I just did---but it was a day already gone by) So if you see something erased, try again!! I'll try to get the hang of managing it correctly!

It's Hard for Emily

2008-12-12T10:51:00.002-06:00

Emily called me this morning and told me she is having a hard adjustment. SHE CAN DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!! And this is per doctor's orders---but she also feels it. She can do nothing. They still have a huge need. Emily cannot be left alone--at all! If any of you are available to help her by coming and staying with her, helping with kids, etc.---please sign up on the calendar. (We were getting hit by spammers on the calendar, so there may be an extra step in posting on the calendar)
Please, please pray for this family's adjustment. It's a struggle right now. I'm sure the kids are so excited to have mommy home--but just don't realize mommy's still not completely well.
Thank you!

Psalm 63:7
"Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings."

GOING HOME!!!!!

2008-12-11T14:57:00.002-06:00

Emily has been released!! Luke is on his way to pick her up as I write this. We are so excited. But I know we need to be praying for their adjustment and needs as they get home. Please be praying!

Janis: Today's status and thanks once again.

2008-12-11T12:01:00.005-06:00

First of importance: Emily has received approvals to leave the hospital today from all her doctors, PT,OT, etc. everyone EXCEPT her head doctor, Dr. Pearl, who is currently in surgery. He told the nurse he would come to see Emily when he's done and has read the reports from everyone else. Emily really has her hopes up, and it's already 12:27 in Texas, so she's getting antsy. I really feel that Dr. Pearl will probably go with the release since everyone else has signed off on it. By the way, I can't say enough good things about Dr. Pearl and his vascular team at Baylor. He truly is one of the best! Another of the ways we saw God's hand in all of this.

Once again, I just want to thank everone collectively for all you prayers, gifts, concern, words of encouragement and comfort, and support during these past six weeks. I want to say more, but think I need more time before I commit words to page.

We look forward to seeing Jason, Cheryl and the kids in Germany NEXT week! I still can't believe it! I'm popping Cephalexin capsules trying to get this sinus infection out of my body in time.

I would like to ask for prayer for my daughter-in-law Kim tomorrow as she undergoes another pretty involved proceedure on her back to try to help with the chronic pain she endures each day. If you've followed the blog since the beginning, you've read many of her blogs. She spent as much time as she could with Emily, pampered me, all while teaching school, caring for her boys and Jeff, always in pain with her RA and back problems.

Of course, Emily will need much help during her recovery which will be long. She is already scheduled to go back to Baylor for more scans with Dr. Spak (infectious disease) and tests in two weeks, if she gets out this week. I hope to be able to go back to Texas after we return from Germany and I recoup from jetlag! She told me she was strongly warned by the OT not to do anything at home!

Our family wishes each of you a very blessed Christmas!

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen
Eph.3:20-21

I talked to EMILY!!!

2008-12-10T16:38:00.005-06:00

Forgive me...I'm going to be emotional. I just talked to Emily for the first time over the phone. Tears are streaming down my face and all I can keep saying over and over is, "God, You're so good! You're so good!!"
The doctors are all in agreement that Emily can go home this weekend!!!!! Well, actually, she's still waiting to hear from one doctor---but he's already been leaning that way, so we're hoping it's a go! They did a cat scan on her liver yesterday and there is definitely a hematoma or it could be a walled-off infection. So they're waiting on Dr. Spock, the infectious disease dr., to look at it and see whether he wants to prescribe an antibiotic for it. It will be totally up to him. Emily said they also told her they may just want her to come back for check-ups on it. The blood count from the liver is fine and there have been no cultures growing. So the liver doctor is on board for her going home. AWESOME!!
She thinks there's been a mix-up or a lack of communication because there was an order written questioning where she'll go for therapy when she leaves. But all of the doctors have been o.k. with her going home and having physical therapy at home. So we'll just pray it's a misunderstanding somewhere!
Emily still has a headache, but she said her glasses are not working now. The prescription is way off after having Sarah. She said she was also messed up for 9 hours yesterday from taking the iodine for the cat scan.
Emily said she only has a little bandaid on her neck from her trach and only has one I.V. left. So everything is healing. She still only has a little appetite, but this afternoon her stomach actually grumbled, so she felt like that was a good sign!
Thank you, God! We have so much to be thankful for. So much. But Emily & I had a good cry together over our first phone call to one another. She was grateful for me blogging and putting the prayer requests out there so people would know how to pray. And I'm grateful she's alive.

Colossians 4:2
" Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful."

Preparing for Emily's Homecoming

2008-12-09T22:06:00.005-06:00

Luke told me today that some women are coming in this week to clean house before Emily comes home. Awesome! Thank you, girls! We appreciate you.
We've gotten the brand new bedding for Luke & Emily's room....and new drapes to match! How exciting!! I'm not sure if Luke has curtain rods for those 2 windows or not. It will require 2 rods per window since they have a valance.
One thing I'm hoping to get is a new king-sized memory foam mattress pad for their hand-me-down mattresses.
The bedding set we got has 4 king-sized shams and 2 European shams. And they don't have pillows to fill them. So that's something else that is needed.
If you'd like to help with any of those things, you can email me at emily.panter05@gmail.com. They can be purchased in the Dallas area or you can find them online and have them shipped. We're so excited to get everything ready for Emily's homecoming!! We're hoping that her homecoming is this week!!!!
Thank you! And keep praying for her complete healing!

Psalm 42:8
"By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life."

We need liver function!

2008-12-09T14:25:00.003-06:00

Janis called from Albuquerque and said she went from 61 degrees in Dallas to 31 with light snow in Albuquerque (so did we in the Tx. panhandle!). But she had talked to Emily and she told her that the liver doctor had come in and the antibiotics had made no difference in the liver function. So...they plan on doing another sonogram and will be looking for an abscess. If there is an abscess, they will "fix it." And if they can't find it, they will change the antibiotic once again. The infectious disease doctor told them that the liver looks fine to him. But he said that the liver doctor had probably never seen anything like Emily's case and is being extra cautious. Obviously, the fluid the liver is producing in the abdomen is infected (as well as her bladder). The liver is trying to repair itself from the crisis. So please pray that God heals Emily's liver. Pray that it quits producing this fluid in her abdomen. Pray that the infection/abscess is healed.
Emily said she's also trying not to drink as much so that she'll be hungry and eat more food! So please pray that she has an appetite.
Thank you for praying!

James 5:17
"The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working]."

Greetings from Germany

2008-12-09T06:34:00.002-06:00

This is Cheryl, Emily's sister-in-law and wife of Jason. I just wanted to say how thankful we are that Emily is doing so well and there are so many who are praying and helping Emily and Luke in this difficult time. It hasn't been easy being so far away and feeling rather helpless. It began with a phone call at 5:45 am late in October from Emily's dad. Jason was still half asleep but heard that Emily was bleeding and it was very serious. Our prayers began immediately! It was a couple days later that we heard the complete story from Janis. We have talked directly with Janis, Mike or Jeff several times, but this blog has been how we hear all the news. When you read the news, we read the news!

I want to say thank you to all that have helped out, in whatever form, whether it a meal or babysitting or prayers. We have all seen the miracle He has worked in Emily's life. I also want to thank those in advance that are and will be helping Luke and Emily during the time that Janis and Mike are here visiting us. We are so excited they are able to visit this year. It has been over 2 1/2 years since we have seen them. Our 4 children are very excited to see their "Oma and Opa"!

We wish each one of you a very merry Christmas celebrating the birth of our Savior!

QUICK Answer to Prayer!

2008-12-08T19:06:00.003-06:00

God is so good! He's heard and He's answered. The doctor came in and said that Emily does not have a staph infection. YEA!! They are still going to remove fluid from her abdomen tomorrow and test it for her liver levels, I think.
One of the doctors said that everything is looking good. He told Emily they had changed her antibiotic because your body gets immune to bacteria if you use the same one. So that's the reason she'd been changed to the one that gave her an allergic reaction. I think there were 2-3 doctors there tonight and everyone seems to be in agreement that Emily may be able to go home by the END OF THIS WEEK!! So much good news!!
Janis said Emily was in a much better emotional state after receiving all of this encouraging news. But she has asked us to pray about removing the abdominal fluid---she really hates that procedure.

Psalm 111:4
"He has caused his wonders to be remembered; the LORD is gracious and compassionate."

Prayer Needs

2008-12-08T13:58:00.004-06:00

Janis said the endocrinologist came in and told them that her kidneys are virtually normal now. Her liver is better---the numbers have gone up. And they may drain fluid again from her abdomen to check it. The doctor said they had done a culture on the PIC line and the catheter and it showed that they were either contaminated or she has a staph infection. Another doctor had read those cultures and that's why he ordered the strong antibiotic which Emily wasn't able to tolerate or had an allergic reaction to. So please pray that if she does have a staph infection, that it's healed quickly.
Janis was leaving within the hour to go to Jeff's house. She asked us to be praying because Emily is very emotional right now. She may just not be feeling well. Or it could be the fact that Janis is leaving. (I know I always got emotional after my mom left when I'd had a baby!) Or it could be the fact that doctors are telling her it may be another week or two before she goes home. She's so ready to be home!!! And she really wants to be there before Lily's birthday on December 20. So please pray that Emily gets well quickly so she can get home!
And would you please consider signing up to stay with Emily during the daytime? Janis said there's just lots of things that can be done for her that also helps the nurses out. And Emily may just need a shoulder to cry on...or for someone to just sit quietly while she rests. But Luke isn't going to be able to be at both places at the same time. You guys have been so great already and we know it's Christmas time!! Words just can't express our gratitude!
Prayer Requests:
*Pray that Emily is healed of any staph infection
*Pray for Emily's emotions
*Pray that there are people who can help take up the slack as Janis leaves
*Pray that Emily gets to go home before Lily's birthday!
*And please pray for Janis. It's been such a struggle for her to leave when Emily isn't completely well. Pray for her emotions, as well.

Psalm 71:23
"My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you— I, whom you have redeemed."

Urgent Prayer Request

2008-12-07T22:25:00.002-06:00

Janis just called and asked me to post an urgent prayer request. They changed the antibiotic today that they were giving Emily for an infection. Apparently, she was allergic to it. She's pretty miserable. They've begun flushing it out of her system. So pray that God removes the effects of this antibiotic and that they find one that works for her.

Hannah's Snowflakes!

2008-12-07T22:21:00.003-06:00

These are the snowflakes Hannah made and sent to us through her teacher, Mrs. Beene. She's very artistic, don't you think? We have them hanging on our Christmas tree.

Sunday with the Kids

2008-12-07T16:47:00.002-06:00

Luke brought the kids up for Emily to see today. They had a great time. Emily held Sarah a good long time--until she began to get tired. It was the highlight of her day seeing all of her kids!
Janis said she also walked around her hall 4 times---which is really good. The doctor came in and took the bandage off the area where her trach had been and then put 2 strips over it. I'm thinking she must have meant like a butterfly bandage--and then put a bandaid over that. Her neck was getting really sore from all of the adhesives from the bandaids.
Emily has also had a headache for 3 days. She's thinking it's because her prescription from her glasses have changed. She said that after the birth of each of her children, her prescription changes.
Her white blood cell count is up and the doctor put her on a new antibiotic to treat any infections.
I could hear Emily in the background tell me that she's sleeping better. So that's good! I think Jeff had gone to "On the Border" and had gotten them some Mexican food. Emily said it wasn't as good as she remembered! ha! But she was eating--and Janis said she's eating better all the time.
So it sounds like Emily has had a good Sunday afternoon. Janis will stay with Emily until tomorrow and then she'll go stay with Jeff until Tuesday morning. Jeff will then take Janis to the airport early Tuesday morning for her flight home.
Pray that Emily is healed of her infection. Pray that her headache goes away. Pray that she regains her strength quickly. And pray for Janis--she's getting another sinus infection.

Psalm 139:14
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

I Met Mrs. Beene!

2008-12-06T19:29:00.005-06:00

What an exciting night! Hannah Panter's teacher, Mrs. Beene, contacted me and told me she was going to be in Borger tonight. So we made plans to meet up with one another. She told me she'd be wearing a "Boles" sweatshirt---and we spotted her right away. Hannah had made some snowflakes that she sent to us and we were so excited! She did a great job on them. Mrs. Beene and I decided we would be best friends if we lived near one another. She and her husband were sweet to take some things to the family for us. She also got to introduce us to Julie, who is a friend of her son and his wife. She was a surgical tech when Emily was brought in that first night. She said God was with Emily---she had the best doctors on call for the problems she had that night. It was so good to meet her and to be able to thank her for her part in saving Emily's life. She said lots of them keep up with Emily through this blog. So I just want to say, "THANK YOU" to each of you who have had a part in saving Emily's life or in ministering to her in ICU or taking care of her on any part of this journey. We appreciate you. We know you've been called to your jobs and it's evident that you take pride in your job by how well you take care of your patients. Thank you.

I just talked to Janis and she is staying with Emily tonight. The liver doctor hasn't been in yet, but the infectious disease doctor, Dr. Spock, was in and told them the report on the sonogram looked fine to him. There is a hematoma on the liver and her kidneys look like they've been through a near-death experience (which they have!), but other than that, things look good. He said that all of her organs are just going to take time to get over the shock that they've had. He told them that he thought she would be able to go home in 2 weeks. The lung doctor had come in to see Emily today and told them that he thought she'd be able to go home in 1 week. So we'll just pray that the lung doctor is right! Dr. Spock also has her on an antibiotic to get rid of her infection.
Janis also said that their neighbor straightened Hannah's curly hair today. She was so sad that Mrs. Beene wasn't here to see it and told her dad that she couldn't wash it before next Tuesday when Mrs. Beene was going to be back in the classroom! ha! Janis said you'd think Mylie Cyrus was living in the house the way Hannah was tossing her hair around. Pretty cute!!
Janis is glad to get to be spending this time with Emily before she goes home---and then goes to Germany to visit her son and his family. Please be praying that Mike, Janis, & Jonathan get rested and over all these bugs before they leave!
We've said it over and over and I got to tell Mrs. Beene in person tonight---but you guys have a wonderful community! Thank you for everyone that has reached out to the Panter family! You have blessed them--and us, Emily's family.

I Chronicles 16:34
"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever."

Janis at Baylor Medical

2008-12-06T11:04:00.002-06:00

Thank you, Brandy, for getting Janis to Baylor Medical this morning! I just talked to her and she was excited to be with Emily earlier than she expected.
She said Emily is doing fine. They did take her for a sonogram on her liver. That's the main prayer concern right now. The liver just isn't functioning correctly and they don't know why. So let's pray that the sonogram gives them some answers. Emily is snacking alot. Janis said they are hoping to stretch her stomach by all of these snacks. That's another concern---her digestive system.
So please pray that God brings order into her liver function and that her digestive system works properly.
Prayer Requests:
*For Emily's liver to function correctly
*For her digestive system to kick in
*For Janis & Emily to have a great visit together
*For Janis as she prepares to leave
*For Luke and the kids as Janis leaves

Psalm 73:23
"Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand."

Friday

2008-12-05T21:46:00.003-06:00

I talked to Luke tonight and he said that Emily had a good day. She used her walker and walked about 500 feet tonight. She's had lots of visitors and is loving seeing people she knows. She's eaten well today. She had yogurt, granola bars, Cran-Grape drink through the day and beef stew for dinner.
The doctor wanted to do a sonogram of her liver and said it may take awhile to get her liver going again---whatever that means! Luke is afraid that means she may not get to go home as soon as he hoped. Let's just pray that because Emily is eating now, that her liver numbers come up and her liver gets in on the same game plan as the rest of her body!
I hope you've seen the post that Janis needs a ride to the hospital tomorrow. She doesn't have to be there right at noon, but she does want to spend the afternoon with Emily--and Luke will need to be with the children. Her nieces are going to be visiting Emily tomorrow afternoon and Janis wants to be with all of them. I hope someone can help. We'd really appreciate it!!
Thank you!

A Ride

2008-12-05T20:05:00.004-06:00

We are looking for someone to help out by giving Janis a ride to the hospital tomorrow. If you would be available at noon to drive Janis from Quinlan to Baylor Medical, could you please let us know by replying. Thanks!

Band-Aid Tomorrow!

2008-12-04T20:53:00.004-06:00

I talked to Luke and he just got to the hospital to see Emily tonight. I asked him if the hole in Emily's throat had completely closed up now and he said that it hasn't. But the doctor told them that tomorrow, they'll just be applying a band-aid to it! So it's almost closed.
Emily has walked a mile today---well, not literally. But almost. Luke said she's been up and down the halls getting her exercise. Very impressive!!
She's still having trouble eating. Nothing tastes right to her---it's either too salty, too sweet or too sour. So she has no appetite. Now that's something I wish I had---no appetite! But for Emily, we need her eating so she can bust out of that joint!
I called Janis to discuss some details and she said that all that is keeping Emily from going home are the numbers on her liver and her appetite--and those 2 things are related. Her lung doctor told her today that she won't be going to rehab---she'll do her rehab at home. Amazing!
Thank you to those of you who are responding with help for the Panters. I know Luke is going to be very grateful for the help--especially after Janis leaves Tuesday. Please agree with me in prayer for Emily.

Father, would you bless Emily with a healthy appetite? Would you please make things taste right to her? Correct her taste buds and give her a hunger for food. Please bring order into her body---her liver and her appetite. Would you miraculously bring those liver numbers to where they need to be? You are so incredible and we're so grateful for all of the things you have done for Emily. Thank you for surrounding Luke & Emily with great friends who care so much about them. Bless them, God. Pour back into their lives. We love you so much! In Jesus' name, Amen.

Psalm 34:8
"Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him."

Posted by Debbie Jenkins on 11-25-08

2008-12-04T14:36:00.004-06:00

I haven't visited the emilypanter.com website in awhile and I was so sorry I hadn't when I found this post by Debbie Jenkins. I wanted to post it here also in case you haven't seen it either. It blessed my heart. This is Emily's sister-in-law, Kim's, mom. We, too, thank God for all of the special caregivers Emily has had. Thank you, Baylor Medical!! And thank you, Debbie, for taking the time to write this. Emily has come so much further since you first wrote this. Praise God!!

I stopped by the hospital today, and in addition to the precious miracle of Emily, I noticed the attention of all of her caregivers. Maybe it is just because I am a nurse, but it struck me how much Emily has touched her nurses, respiratory therapists, doctors, and other healthcare providers. I thanked her Endocrinologist for all of his kindness and he said the miracle of Emily was not his to give! When I got there two doctors were standing in line to check on her. And, that doesn't even represent the team. She has so many people watching her every breath it is unbelievable.She was moved to a private ICU room, and without exception, I think the people around her were as excited, if not more, than she was. Her new room is the size of the other room, but she is the only patient! Someone (a nurse)made a comment that now she could have her special visitors, another commented about the view of the sky and light from the windows to lift her spirits. They made a special effort to position her bed so she could see the sky. Her respiratory therapist supported and advocated for her to get moved to a private room. And because Emily felt too much was happening to fast today, the therapist and nurses stopped the commotion and reminded her that she is the reason all of them are here. Kim told me she feels her RT is the reason she is in the special room she has. That room is usually reserved for transplant patients due to their special needs. But, not this week- it is Emily's. If you could see how precious space is for that ICU, you would know what a blessing it is. She has been in a room with 3 other critically ill patients. The room is probably the size of 2 semi private regular patient rooms, without a wall to separate them for privacy. She has just had a curtain to give her individual privacy. The noises go on 24/7. Conversations take place about other patient's and even tho everyone tries to keep it as quiet as possible, medications to alleviate pain make for confusion. She has been under unbelievalbe conditions. The way that healthcare is today. there is a great need for more hospital beds, and the special people in ICU are doing the best they can to make it as good as possible. There was a special meeting to throw out the rules so Em's babies could be there. Transplant patient's are numerous in this ICU, so the patient's are very susceptible to illness. Children are little germ factories, so they usually don't allow them. I couldn't help but think that Em is reaching all of them for the Lord. If you could feel the spirit in the unit and see the looks on their faces, you would know it too!It is hard to work in the ICU and see tragedy after tragedy. Sometimes it feels that no matter what you do, the outcome is bad. And then here comes our Miracle. She has touched them all and given them encouragement that our God is bigger than any trauma or illness. His timing is perfect, down to the second! I thank God for all of them and their willingness to answer His call on their lives. I found out that a special nurse named Vandy is one of her caregivers. And... she happens to have been one of my most special nursing students. She reminded me of Kim the minute I met her 3 years ago. God started long ago laying the foundation for those that would save His Emily.So, in case any of the nurses, doctors, respiratory therapists and all of the other special healthcare providers at Baylor are reading this, THANK YOU and thank God for the special calling on your lives. Yours is a special place and it is because of your dedication that God can prove His love and devotion to all of us.Emily is making tremendous progress. She is speaking to her physicians, answering their questions and working so hard to get out of that place. She is unbelievable. She is also BEAUTIFUL. She is glowing. Her color is great, her spirit is strong. The road is still bumpy before her, but she is up to the test. To see her smile today and hear her voice was the best gift anyone could get. Thank you for letting me be part of your family. This is a blessed Thanksgiving.
Love always,
Gramme Debbie

Changes are A-Comin'

2008-12-04T12:24:00.005-06:00

I talked to Janis and she said that Jeff (Emily's brother) had been with Emily this morning. They are saying that Emily's liver numbers are worse. They believe it is from her TPN---her intraveneous feeding tube. So they are removing it and are encouraging her to EAT! They told her that even if she'd eat a couple of bites an hour, it would help. They're not unduly worried about it, but they do need Emily to start eating. If that doesn't work, they may have to resort to the feeding tube in the nose. If the numbers don't change (and they really believe this is her problem), they will have to do a liver biopsy.
Janis said things are pretty chaotic at the house. I think Lily had a meltdown this morning. Janis said they were trying to wait for a nap until after "Barney," but she didn't make it that long. Ha! The school also called and had Luke come pick up Noah. He has a spot on his face that Janis has been trying to medicate, but they think it's a staff infection. He's had it since before Sarah was born, but he can't go back to school until the spot clears up. So Luke is going to have to take Noah & Lily to the doctor Monday---it was the first available appointment. Lily is just having a check-up, I believe.
Janis' flight arrangements have been made to go back to Albuquerque before she leaves for Germany. She will be leaving Dallas early Tuesday morning.
So...everything is about to change. Luke won't have continual help with the children. And as you can tell just from this post, things can change rather quickly---in every direction!! I know it's a busy time of year and our minds are pulled in so many different directions. But if you can help out with a meal, with childcare or with sitting with Emily, I know Luke is about to be a desperate man! If you're able to take a meal, please tell us what you'll be bringing so it's not duplicated before or behind you. And with everything, please leave your name, email address or phone number in case plans change! Thank you so much!!!
Prayer Needs:
*Emily's liver counts
*Emily being able to eat
*Noah's staff infection on his cheek
*Janis leaving
*Luke's situation

I Corinthians 1:9
"God is faithful (reliable, trustworthy, and therefore ever true to His promise, and He can be depended on); by Him you were called into companionship and participation with His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord."

Wednesday Night Update

2008-12-03T21:17:00.002-06:00

I always laugh at Luke when I call him. He usually thinks he has nothing to tell me. But as he starts talking, I find out quite a bit.
He said Emily had a restful day. They've removed her catheter, so that means she'll be up and about more, I bet. It also will help heal her infection. That's all good.
They did go ahead and remove fluid from her abdomen yesterday. But they only retrieved 1/2 liter this time. Emily was upset---so much pain for so little result! It's hard to blame her!!
They've also given her 2 units of blood tonight. She had a low blood count---but they're not worried about it. They just thought this would be a good pick-me-up for her.
The flu is making its rounds. Mike & Jonathan (Emily's dad & brother) got home to Albuquerque and both came down with the flu. Luke's mom also has the flu. She was on board to keep the kids this weekend, so they're not sure of the plans at this point. Luke said the kids are fine. Luke has been working diligently today to get the house ready for Emily's eventual homecoming.
This has nothing to do with Emily's progress, but I just think it's amazing. Hannah's teacher is coming to my little hometown this weekend---and we're going to get to meet up! I live in Borger which is about 350 miles from where she lives. And not many people know where Borger even is! I just think it's fun!
Please pray that Emily feels much better tomorrow. I'm hoping the blood she's gotten perks her up. And pray for Luke as he gets all the work done around the house. Please pray for the family to get over these bugs!!

III John 1:2
"Dear friend, I hope all is well with you and that you are as healthy in body as you are strong in spirit."

Need

2008-12-03T12:50:00.002-06:00

Luke is in need of some people who can volunteer to sit with Emily. If you can help in that way, would you go to the Calendar (on the right) and click on it. Just click on the check mark on the hour you can go and fill in that time slot (even if there is a meal or childcare going on at the same time) and put in the amount of time you'll be able to spend with Emily. This will free Luke to help take care of the sick children. Thank you so much!

Rough Night

2008-12-03T10:24:00.003-06:00

Luke said Emily had a rough night---she didn't get any sleep. He thinks it may be from coming off of the medication she was on for her muscle spasms. But she is very tired this morning. The doctor came in and said everything looked good. They have her on antibiotics for her infection. The doctor isn't saying anything about going home yet---but of course, I'm sure he wants the infection cleared up first and they probably want to see more strength in her walking, etc.
I asked Luke if they were waiting also on the hole in her throat to close up---and he said it was already almost closed!! I had no idea! I know they said it closed up on its own fast, but I didn't know it would be that fast!! He said that even yesterday, Emily would have to put her hand over the hole to talk, but today, she wasn't even having to do that. The only way she loses air is if she's coughing. WOW!
Luke said that everyone at home was fighting an upper respiratory infection. So please pray for Luke, Janis and the kids. I know part of it is that they're all just worn out. Let's ask God to strengthen their bodies as well. Maybe we need to supply them with some Emergen-C! (I'm great at these remedies! Ha!)
Thank you, again, for hanging in there with us. The Panter family needs the prayer---and we're definitely seeing miraculous answers to those prayers!! God is just amazing, isn't He?

Deuteronomy 32:4
"He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he."

Physical Therapy

2008-12-02T17:09:00.002-06:00

I'm sorry I'm so late with this post today----I forgot my cell phone when I went to work and didn't have Luke or Janis' phone numbers with me all day!
Emily is doing well. She was wide-awake all morning and the only I.V. she has left is her nutrition I.V. They took her off of the muscle relaxants that were making her so sleepy and were giving her a different muscle relaxant so she could stay awake.
The physical therapists came in and were asking her some questions. She was a little sleepy still and had her eyes closed, but as they would ask her a question, she'd open her eyes and give them the correct answers. They asked her who the president was and she told them, "That's a trick question!" They told her they weren't trying to trick her---but wanted to know if she knew who the current president was. She answered, "George W. Bush." Then they asked her if she knew who the president-elect was and she muttered, "Obama." Ha! At least she knew the answer! They then asked her to add a series of small numbers and when she got that one right, they told her, "Correct! We think you're doing great!" Good deal!
They were going to do a chest x-ray today to make sure her lungs were doing o.k. without the trach. They also wanted to do a sonogram of her abdomen to check the fluid level. She wasn't happy about the prospect of that---she didn't want them removing more fluid. But Janis said the last time she was there, her abdomen didn't look nearly as distended as it had been. She also has a urinary tract infection. She's been seen by the physical therapists and the occupational therapists and they both think she's doing well. They just said she needed to regain her strength. So let's pray for that!
Prayer Requests:
*That she won't have to have fluid removed from her abdomen
*For her urinary tract infection to be healed
*That she'll regain her strength

Isaiah 40:29
"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak."

Pizza Night

2008-12-01T20:50:00.002-06:00

Emily had a restful day. Since she was having muscle spasms in her back and they had given her medication to relax them, she was "out" most of the day. But she did wake up enough to have soup for lunch and when she woke up this evening, she told Luke she wanted a pizza! So he went and got her a small one and she ate about 1/4 of it---which is really good! I think she'd been up some and seems stronger every time she gets up. They also told them that where the trach had been will heal pretty quickly. Isn't the body amazing? There's just so much to be thankful for!
Please continue praying that her muscle spasms stop and that her strength increases every day!

AMAZING!!!!

2008-12-01T09:06:00.003-06:00

I just talked to Janis this morning and she said Luke had gone to the hospital early. He got to talk to the lung doctor and the lung doctor took out the trach!!! He thinks that is what is making Emily cough so bad. So she's so advanced, they skipped a whole step in removing the trach! I then called Luke to get all the scoop and he said that they've totally removed the trach and have covered the hole with a bandage and the skin will grow together on its own. Wow!!
Removing the trach has caused the coughing to stop. So apparently, that was the source of her problems. They've also put her on some pain medication because she was having muscle spasms. As a result of the pain medicine, she told Luke he needed to hurry---he was going to miss his meeting with President Bush! ha!
Because of how well Emily was doing with her walking yesterday, Luke is hopeful that Emily may even be able to skip rehab!! It's possible that within the next 2 weeks, Emily could be home. That would be incredible. Let's pray for that to happen.
Here are a couple of things we'd like to have done when Emily gets home. We'd like to get a memory foam mattress topper for Emily's king-sized bed. It's a hand-me-down set of mattresses and we'd like to make it as comfortable as possible for her when she gets home. We'd also like to get her new bedding and drapes---just to perk up her spirits! Her favorite colors are chocolate brown and mossy green. If anyone would like to take on either project, would you email me at dietzbecky@hotmail.com? That way, we'll know it's taken care of.
Her homecoming may be sooner than we expected! I'm so excited! God is great, isn't He???
Prayer Requests:
*Pray that the muscle spasms stop
*Pray that Emily gets stronger each day
*Pray Emily is able to skip rehab
*Pray that Emily is able to go home within the next 2 weeks!
*Pray all is ready for her homecoming!
Father, we come in agreement for Emily's complete and quick healing. Thank you that her trach was removed!! Thank you for all that you've already done in her healing. We're in awe of you!! Please strengthen Emily's muscles and cause the spasms to stop. Father, would you cause her to bypass the rehab? Thank you for magnifying your name through Emily. We love you, Daddy! In Jesus' name, Amen.

Psalm 18:30
"As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him."

Sunday

2008-11-30T17:03:00.005-06:00

I talked to Luke who is with Emily right now and he said that Emily got out of bed and was walking so much better---turning corners by herself and moving around much better. He was so impressed. Emily said she didn't feel stronger, but Luke thinks she is. Of course, she's still very sore. She said her muscles are really sore.
She's still coughing quite a bit. Luke is hoping to see her doctor tomorrow and find out why she's coughing and see if there's something they can do for it. It's really bothering Emily.
Luke preached this morning!! He said he mostly shared his testimony from this experience. I told him I wish we could upload it to the blog so we could all hear it. He chuckled. (It didn't sound too promising from his end---but maybe if there's a church member out there....and there was a tape....) He said there was a great crowd this morning and even some visitors. I know he was very glad to be back "home."
Luke has asked if we can sign up on the calendar to visit Emily. I'm going to have to ask David to extend our calendar to include visiting hours. But the main purpose is so Emily will not be alone. And if you wouldn't mind signing on the calendar when you can visit, Luke could check it each day and know if there are available hours where he can be at home with the kids. This will especially help after Janis leaves and Luke has more "kid duty." I believe the visiting hours are 6 a.m.--9 p.m. If you feel comfortable with Emily and can go visit for an hour (or more), we'd love for you to sign up to visit her. That will also help everyone to know if she already has visitors scheduled, too. If the calendar already has something (like a meal) on the time you plan to visit, you can still click on the check mark and add your visit on that time, too. They're open to "pop-in" visitors also, but these scheduled visits would help Luke schedule his times to be there. That would be a great ministry to them both. And I know Emily would love to start seeing her friends.
THANK YOU!! This rehabilitation process is bigger than the Panter family. Please know how much we appreciate you!

The kids...and Janis leaving

2008-11-29T20:49:00.009-06:00

Luke said the reunion of Emily and her children was wonderful!! They had a great visit together. The kids were so excited to see her and Emily was relieved to see them. And NO ONE got sad as they left. Thank you so much for praying over that issue!! God is so good. Luke said they plan to visit often now that Emily is in a regular room.
The kids were also excited about the Christmas tree that greeted them when they got home. Luke said it's been a little hectic as they've settled in to their house once again.
Would you please be praying for Janis (Emily's mom) as she prepares to leave in a couple of weeks? Mike & Janis have been planning a trip to Germany for over a year to see their son and his family. They had planned on going this time last year, but they were moving at that time and didn't get to go. Jason & his family have lived in Germany for 2 years and it will be 2 more years before they come back to the states. So I know Janis is anxious to see those 4 precious grandkids who live there! They've been so unsettled about whether to go after this happened to Emily, but now that she's doing so well, they will be going. Janis will need to go home (to Albuquerque) a few days before they leave for Germany to help get things ready. In the meantime, she wants to help Luke get all the help set up for while she's gone and get things ready for Emily's eventual homecoming. So I know there's a lot on her mind---even though she's anxious to see her family in Germany, she's anxious in another way about leaving Emily and her family. I think Janis' set date to leave is December 12. So if you can help with meals on Dec. 12 and for 2-3 weeks after that, just sign up on the calendar.
Thank you, too, for those who continue to help the Panter family financially. You just can't imagine the expenses Luke has of driving between home, the hospital and his parent's home in the country. And then there are the expenses of staying at the hospital and eating out, etc. So your help is very much appreciated!! You are a blessing.
We'll let you know of any needs that will be coming up as Janis prepares to leave. Thank you for wanting to help!!

Ecclesiastes 4:10
"If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!"

BIG DAY!

2008-11-29T16:57:00.002-06:00

What a big day for Emily! She got to move to a regular room this afternoon! She's now in room 1101 in the Roberts Building of Baylor Medical. Is that not awesome? I certainly had no idea it would be this quick. I'm sure for those surrounding her, it doesn't seem quick at all. But for someone just hearing news each day, it's a miracle.
Emily also got to see her children today---all 5 of them! I'm sure it was a sweet time. Janis called to give me the update, so she wasn't there when it took place. So she didn't know the specifics of the visit. She was at home helping the women who came to decorate the Panter home for Christmas! She said it looks so special---the Christmas tree is up and the mantel is decorated. The kids will be so excited when they get home and see that Christmas has come into their house.
Hopefully, I'll get to talk to Luke tonight and hear more about the time Emily had with the kids. Thank you so much for praying. It's days like this that make us so aware of God hearing and answering prayer.
We love that you have walked this with us. It's become your story of God's grace as much as ours.

I Corinthians 1:4
"I always thank God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus."

Advancement

2008-11-29T10:24:00.002-06:00

I talked to Janis this morning and some advancements are being made. Woo-Hoo! Emily has gone all this time without the vent now. So the next step will be to get the trach out. There are a couple of steps they'll take before they remove the trach. The first one they'll do is cap off the trach and give her oxygen through her nose. When she tolerates that well, she'll move on to the next step. So she's doing great!
She is very sore in her joints. They're not sure if that's from moving around more or if she's getting the flu bug that's going around. So please pray that God protects her from those bugs!!
More good news---Luke is planning on taking the kids up to see their mother today. I know it will be so sweet---and yet so hard---when they get ready to leave. Please cover them all in prayer today!
In the meantime, there are some women who are going to the Panter's house to set up the Christmas tree and do some decorating so the kids can come home to "Christmas" in their house! I know they will be ecstatic.
So this is a good day. Pray that all goes well! We appreciate you praying for Emily and her family. So many wonderful steps are being made in her recovery---and we know it's all due to prayer and the awesome power of God. Thank you.

Coughing

2008-11-28T11:15:00.003-06:00

Luke said that Emily is still coughing today. He sounded pretty frustrated because it seems that the doctors are taking the day off today and he can't find out any information. It may be a long weekend for him.
Mike got to come up yesterday and see his daughter. I'm sure that was good for both of them. Luke went to his parent's house yesterday about 3 and then after spending the afternoon with them and the kids, he spent the night at his house. But he was back at the hospital early this morning.
Please pray that Emily's cough subsides! And pray for Luke.
We hope you had a blessed Thanksgiving!!

THANKSGIVING

2008-11-27T11:44:00.003-06:00

I called Luke just now and told him to tell Emily that we're celebrating her life today! We know that many of you, just like us, have had losses---God doesn't always answer our prayers with a "yes." He does what glorifies Himself the most. But today, we have so much to praise and thank God for. And we're praising Him and thanking Him for Emily's life.
Luke said Emily had a good night. She has tolerated the cap on her trach for over 24 hours now!! YIPPEEE!! In fact, they changed out her trach this morning and it has helped her coughing alot, Luke said. He said she's also eating well today. We don't know what the plan is yet about Emily getting to stay off of the vent, etc. But....for where we are...we're grateful!

Father,
We just want to praise and thank You for choosing life for Emily. Thank You for blessing Luke and her children and her extended family this way. Thank You for glorifying Yourself through her life. We come in agreement as her friends and family glorifying Your holy name---You've done all things well. We trust Your heart, Father. We love You!! In Jesus' name, Amen.

I Chronicles 16:34
"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever."

Quiet Night

2008-11-26T21:45:00.002-06:00

I just talked to Luke and he said Emily has had a restful day. Her coughing has subsided considerably. She also still has the cap on the trach (which means the vent is off) and is doing well with that. Mike & Jonathan (Emily's dad & brother) had gotten there and they had just left to go to Jeff & Kim's, I believe.
Please pray that Emily does well all night long. Pray that her cough goes away completely. And pray that she endures the cap on the trach for 24 hours.

Psalm 17:8
"Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings."

Good Day

2008-11-26T12:51:00.004-06:00

Luke called and you could hear the bubble of happiness in his voice. Emily is having a good day. He said the lung doctor came in and wants to leave the cap on her trach for 24 hours---IF Emily can tolerate it. So please pray for Emily to tolerate it. When she can leave the cap on for 24 hours, she can come off of the vent. And she can be moved to a regular room.
So far, she's doing great. But Luke said she's been coughing. He doesn't know if it's a tickle in her throat or what. He went to get her some Hall's cough drops and that helped. And then the nurses gave her a breathing treatment and that helped. Right now, she's taking a nap and that has relaxed her to where she's not coughing. Luke's just afraid the doctor might decide he needs to put her back on the vent because of her cough. But Emily told him that she was doing it last night while she was on the vent. These coughing fits also leave her hot--which invokes more coughing. So please pray the cough goes away. The doctor has ordered a chest x-ray to see if there is fluid built up in her lungs or something.
They still don't have the results on the ultrasound on her abdomen from yesterday. But the nurse had seen it and said she didn't see anything but fluid built-up. So they may want to drain that again.
I asked Luke if the kids were going to get to come see Emily this week and he said he was definitely going to bring Sarah. He hopes to bring all of the kids at some point, but they're going to play it by ear. He said they had an exciting night last night, though. Because Emily had the cap on her trach, she was able to call all of the kids and talk to them--on speaker phone!! It was the first time they've gotten to hear their mom's voice in a month! He said it was a great time---emotional for Emily, of course---but a great time.
Luke will be spending some of his Thanksgiving with his mom & dad--but he doesn't want to leave Emily alone. Emily's dad, Mike, is on his way and will get to Dallas tonight. Mike & Janis will be staying with Jeff & Kim. So I'm sure the family will be trading places all day so that Emily has a good Thanksgiving, too.
Prayer Requests:
*Luke asked us to be praying about Emily's rehab. He's supposed to meet with a social worker today. A nurse has told him that they really want Emily to go to Baylor's rehab---but it's not paid by their coverage. His coverage wants him to take her to a nursing home for rehab. So this is a huge concern for Luke. Please pray that Luke & Emily have favor with this social worker.
*Pray that God opens doors that no man can close.
*Pray for every penny to be paid by the time this is all over!
*Pray that God provides the best for Emily.
*Pray for the cough to go away.
*Pray Emily tolerates the cap for the next 24 hours.
*Pray that the Panter/Dietz family have a great Thanksgiving---there's so much to be thankful for!
*Pray that God brings order into Emily's body.

Psalm 95:2
"Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song."

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOEL!

2008-11-26T10:12:00.005-06:00

Luke is with Emily today. Janis is staying away from her since she has a cold. The nurses have told her she could still come in with a mask, but Janis has opted to stay away to protect Emily from the cold. They also told her that Emily is somewhat protected by having a trach---it filters out those harmful germs.

You're going to love this story....
Janis was with Emily last night about 6:00. Emily had the cap on her trach and was able to talk. They were still waiting on Luke to arrive. Janis realized it was November 25---her son's birthday! When she told Emily, "Oh my goodness! I need to call Joel and tell him 'happy birthday'," Emily broke out into song! And not just any song. She began singing a Christian "Happy Birthday" song in Spanish that she'd learned in Chile. She remembered every word. And Janis said the other wonderful thing about this is that it showed her that Emily's vocal cords have not been damaged. Janis then called Joel and let Emily sing the song again to her brother. Don't you think that's probably the best gift he got all day?
Praise the Lord!
And Happy Birthday, Joel!!

Emily's New Room

2008-11-25T19:18:00.005-06:00

I talked to Janis tonight and she said that Emily had gotten moved into her new room about 2:00 this afternoon. She said it's so nice and spacious and has about 6 windows that makes it very bright and cheerful. She said a very strict nurse had come on duty and had asked them if they remembered that this was I.C.U. ha! So they aren't able to stay with Emily right now like they could for a couple of days. But Janis said she felt very comfortable leaving Emily now that she was in a better place. She'd worried about her before---not having a voice if she should have a need.
Debbie Jenkins, Kim's mom, came up and stayed with Emily awhile this afternoon. Janis has gotten a cold or the sniffles or something and had gone up to the room and rested. She said she was feeling much better after resting. And Luke had come up this evening and was with Emily---so Janis will get more rest tonight.
The kids have gone to Luke's parents' house. We're guessing and praying that Sam (Luke's dad) is feeling better!
They had taken Emily down today for an ultrasound. Her stomach was distended again. Fluid keeps building up because her liver is not functioning 100%. They weren't too concerned with it, but they just wanted to see what was going on. Janis said she's probably gotten used to her coloring---but said she's still a little yellow, but her eyes are much whiter than they were. She also said that her liver numbers keep increasing--which is good!
Emily doesn't really have an appetite still, but they're tempting her with supplemental drinks like Boost or Breeze. She finally found one she liked---so pray that her appetite increases.
They're hoping the kids can come see Emily soon. They just don't want the kids to be frightened with the hospital and everything that goes with it. So let's pray God begins preparing Emily and the children for that reunion!!
Tomorrow, Sarah will be one month old. Can you believe that? It's about time for a reunion, don't you think?

Father, Please prepare the kids to see their mom. I pray they won't be frightened by anything. Give Emily the energy she's going to need for that reunion. Father, prepare Emily not to focus on what she's missed out on. Help her to see how you've spared her for these precious kids. Let it be a peaceful, wonderful, fun reunion that doesn't exhaust Emily or upset the kids when they have to leave her again. Just go before them and prepare the way. I ask these things in Jesus' wonderful name, Amen.

Proverbs 3:5-6
"Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths."

Thank You

2008-11-25T13:30:00.005-06:00

It has become evident that there are many people keeping up with this blog. The common thread is Emily. Missionaries from Chile, our immediate church family (Bridgeview), extended church families (FBC Greenville, NBC Greenville, Paramount BC, Amarillo) related churches (FBC Henderson, FBC Alameda, FUMC Car., Hunt Baptist Association Churches) etc.. Friends and family from everywhere are coming here to inquire into Emily's condition and progress. I thank you for your concern and prayers for Emily. Your support is much felt. We know that you are praying for Emily and that God is hearing yours and our prayers. God has done an awesome work in Emily's life. This Thanksgiving we are thankful. "Now to Him who is able to do exceeding abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen."
From our house to yours, Happy Thanksgiving.
Luke P.

Everlasting Arms

2008-11-25T13:12:00.004-06:00

"God, the eternal God, is our support at all times, especially when we are sinking into deep trouble.
There are seasons when we sink quite low.....Dear child of God, even when you are at your lowest, underneath are the everlasting arms. - Charles Spurgeon

"However low the people of God are at any time brought, everlasting arms are underneath them to keep the spirit from fainting and the faith from failing, even when they are pressed above measure......everlasting arms with which believers have been wonderfully sustained and kept cheerful in the worst of times. Divine grace is sufficient. - Matthew Henry

"What have I to dread, what have I to fear
Leaning on the everlasting arms?

I have blessed peace with my Lord so near,
Leaning on the everlasting arms."

- Elisha Hoffman

Luke P.

We Got It!!!

2008-11-25T11:26:00.002-06:00

Emily's getting the private room in I.C.U.!!! WOO-HOO!! The nurses were waiting for the other patient to move to a regular room and had some time on their hands, so they came in and gave Emily the "spa treatment" while she waited. One nurse french braided her hair, another massaged her, etc. So Emily was feeling very special this morning. She did tell Janis that she felt like she'd done 100 sit-ups yesterday---her abdomen was really sore from sitting up for 15 minutes on the side of the bed and then standing.
They were expecting 3 lung transplant patients and 2 heart transplant patients to arrive at the I.C.U. this morning. So there are lots of needs out there. Be praying for those patients and their families, too.
When Emily gets settled in her new room, she will have the cap put on her trach and have her daily "workout" where she has to breathe hard on her own.
Thank you for praying!! Thank you for showing this family how much you love them and for helping with their needs. We sincerely wouldn't want to walk this without you. You bless us.

Thank You, Father, for hearing and answering our prayers and for giving Emily favor today. We praise You for meeting her needs by giving her this room. Now we ask that it won't be long before Emily gets to see her babies, God. Thank You! We praise You!! In Jesus' name, Amen.

Physical Therapy

2008-11-24T18:52:00.002-06:00

Janis told me tonight that Emily started physical therapy today. Three therapists came to help her. They first sat her up on the side of the bed and she did that very well. They then had her stand. And she did it! Of course, she's very weak and couldn't stand long, but she'll soon be running laps around the building!
It's looking good for Emily to get the private room----so please keep praying!

Psalm 84:11
"For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless."

Father, would you please give Emily & Janis both rest tonight? You covered the Israelites with a cloud by day---would you give them a covering tonight so they can sleep well? Would you turn Janis' hard chair into a soft mattress? Please minister to Emily's emotions while she sleeps. Sing over her. You are the Prince of Peace, Jesus---pour out that peace on her tonight. Heal Emily inside out. And God, we're asking for Your favor for Emily for that private room. Would you show Your great love for her by blessing her with it? And would you allow her children to come see her soon? Thank You for loving Emily so completely! In Jesus' name, Amen.

Emotions

2008-11-24T13:44:00.005-06:00

Janis & I had a bad connection when we called just now. But I'll tell you what I did understand. They have now put Emily on soft foods! YEA!! So she had bacon and eggs this morning. She's still not able to eat much, so the doctor has ordered that she only be fed food intravenously at night---and soft foods during the day.
There is a private room in I.C.U. and the person who has been in it is being moved to another floor. The respiratory doctor has fought for Emily to get the private room. So PLEASE pray that Emily gets that room tomorrow!! If she gets that room, she will be able to close the door and sleep and her kids will even be able to come in and see her.
This is where our connection went fuzzy and I hope I have all of this right....They put the cap on the trach this morning and she had to work to breathe again. When the respiratory therapist came in to remove it, Emily begged them to leave it on. But the therapist told Emily she had to put her back on the vent. It was a process to wean her off of it and she couldn't keep the cap on. (She's also able to talk when she has the cap on.) Emily began crying. After talking with her, they discovered she was really discouraged. She was seeing people come and go out of the I.C.U.---people who hadn't been there as long as she has and she knew that when she'd been able to stay on the cap for 24 hours, she'd be ready to be off of the vent...and she'd be able to go to a regular room...and she'd be able to see her babies. Janis and the therapist both tried to help her understand. But then...Janis told her she was entitled to cry---she'd just had a baby, she'd just learned this week that she almost died, and she was working hard---she was entitled to cry!! So please pray for Emily. She's missing her children. And her children are missing her.
On another note, Janis said that Luke's dad is in the hospital with kidney stones. So please pray for this family---they're just having a hard time!

*Just got word that Luke's dad was able to leave the hospital at 10 this morning.

Psalm 68:19
"Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens."

Janis

2008-11-23T22:22:00.003-06:00

As I've prayed throughout the day today, the Lord keeps laying Janis on my heart. Though she would never speak it for fear of taking prayer attention off of Emily, she is beyond exhausted and suffering from sleep deprivation. As I was thinking back today on this whole chain of events, I just began to realize what a traumatic time it's been for Janis to see her baby girl going through all of this. The fact that she came to Quinlan expecting to get to spend some precious time with her daughter and new grandbaby and then, 40 minutes after arriving, found Emily unconcious and then had to be the one to defend her grandchildren while the whole ordeal with the ambulance was taking place. Then immediately after the initial trauma, she began taking care of her 5 grandchildren, which includes round the clock baby feedings and when she's not doing that, she's taking care of Emily and getting limited to NO sleep. She has been such a trooper to just thrust herself into the situation and just do what needs to be done, but I'm worried that without rest, she may get sick. Would you please join me in praying for SUPERNATURAL strength, multiplied rest and protection against illness. Also, that she would be able to find time to put everything aside and genuinely rest. I know so many of you who read the blog are friends of hers and I think it would be good and refreshing to her spirit if maybe we could post the prayers that we're praying over her. Thank you all for loving our family...there just aren't words to express our gratitude.

Kim

Quiet Day

2008-11-23T20:40:00.002-06:00

I talked to Luke & Janis both tonight. Luke had gone to see Emily this morning and said she was doing well. Janis said Kim had come to see Emily and washed her hair and gave her a pedicure--Janis had given her a manicure yesterday. Kim's mom is a nurse and told Kim how to shampoo Emily's hair in the bed. Janis said it was awesome--and she could go into the business! I'm sure that must have felt wonderful for someone who's been in the bed for almost a month!! Thank you, Kim!!
The other good thing that happened today was that Emily was moved up from a clear liquid diet to a liquid diet. So tonight she had cream soup and pudding. Janis said she only took about 8 bites, but she said it tasted good.
Luke said that his dad came over tonight to help him with the van and when they went to start it up, it started up just fine! Maybe God healed that van!
Please pray for Emily & Janis to get some sleep tonight. They're both exhausted. Janis is trying to sleep in an uncomfortable recliner in a lighted, noisy room.
Tomorrow, Emily is set to have 3 hours of the T-bar on her trach. It will be quite a workout! Let's pray she gets plenty of rest tonight so she's ready to work tomorrow.
Thank you so much for hanging in there with us and praying for Emily!!

Proverbs 3:24
"...when you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet."

A Day of Rest

2008-11-23T13:03:00.005-06:00

They are giving Emily a "day of rest" today. They said that because she worked so hard yesterday, she needed it! They have removed her feeding tube from her nose and she is eating jello and other clear liquids. Janis said she hasn't been particularly hungry, but they are trying to get her to eat. As Kim said in the last post, Janis is staying in the room with her now. And she will probably be with Emily until Wednesday, at least. Emily is still disoriented when she first wakes up, so they are letting Janis stay with her around the clock now. And Janis said it's very hard to get any rest when you're staying in the "eternally light" I.C.U. Not to mention all the disruptions of sleep by nurses needing to check monitors, etc.

Janis said Luke got ready to go to the hospital this morning and his van wouldn't work. So hopefully, he can figure out what is wrong with it. Let's pray it's something minor!! (I misunderstood--I thought he was preaching--my mistake! I've found that my information isn't always completely correct since I get some of it secondhand---and sometimes, like this, I must dream it up on my own!!)

Please pray that Emily gets well-rested today. She is scheduled for a work-out tomorrow!!

Isaiah 32:18

"My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest."

Prayers For Sleep

2008-11-22T21:59:00.002-06:00

As Becky mentioned below, Jeff and I did have an incredible time with Em this afternoon. It is just such a happy day. To see her sweet smile and hear her voice. To be able to share with her tiny glimpses of the miraculous things the Lord has done for her. She is doing far better than I expected her to be at this point..I'm just so thankful. The main immediate prayer need for Em tonight is that she would SLEEP. As you can imagine, the ICU is very loud and bright and there's always something beeping or someone talking or laughing loudly. After several weeks of trying to sleep through all of this, unsuccessfully, Emily is BEYOND exhausted. She kept looking at me tonight saying, "I just need to sleep." So, Janis and I would rub her "perfectly unpuffy:)" feet with lotion and she would dose off for 15-20 minutes and then something would wake her. They gave her some sleeping meds last night that gave her horrible nightmares and made her feel awful, so we asked that they just give her Bynedryl tonight and the nurse agreed, though she said she didn't think it would work. So our very important prayer need for this night is that God would givr Emily rest like she's never had before...I think Iheard Janis use the word "blissful" sleep. Would you join me in praying for Emily's rest and also for Janis as the last two nights she has slept in a recliner next to Emily's bed. Thanks so much sweet friends and family!