An exercise in memory part III

August 16th, 1985 (my Parents 16th wedding anniversary) we arrived in Chile. We would begin a stint in Temuco, Chile that would last till December 1988. I will only address memories in this time frame in this blog. I was 5 years old when we arrived, and it is at this point that my memories begin to take on more flesh to them. I will not bore you with every single memory I have of this time, but I will highlight a few. I would like to say, that despite the usual sibling arguments,I had a very happy childhood. I am keenly aware that I was privileged to experience so many things that other children my age were never exposed to.
When we first arrived at Temuco, we stayed in an apartment located on the bottom floor of a school building. The ‘Colegio Bautista’ was a very large school that would hold many memories for me in the years to come. Not only did I go there for K-3rd; but this was the location where all the missionaries would meet for one out of the two annual meetings, so it had a feeling of a family camp ground to me.
The fun thing here is that when classes let out, my brothers and I could go anywhere on this enormous campus. To the play ground, the covered gym like patio, or the many cool places where we could hide in a game of hide and seek.
After this short stint we moved into a rental house for a while. We called it the ‘Prieto house’ (that was the name of the street.) My first and worst memory here was that we had not gotten our crate yet. We had no window coverings. My parents but newspapers on the windows; one of the pages in my room was a front page picture of a boy, about my age, who had been bitten by a brown recluse. It was the stuff of nightmares. I don’t know why I didn’t tell them it was there, I’m sure they would have changed it.
This was also the house we were living in when we bought our TV. I guess it had been a while since we had had one, because I came home from spending the night with some other MKs (missionary kids) and was shocked and so very excited! I told the rest of my family to keep it quiet and not to tell my brother Jeff (who had also spent the night but hadn’t made it home yet) anything. I suggested we see how long it took him to notice the TV. Everyone agreed. So, of course, the minute I heard the gate…I ran outside screaming at the top of my lungs that we had gotten a TV!!
This was also the year that I began to notice some things. I knew my family believed in God. I believed in God. I believed in Jesus. But I also knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if I were to die, my Parents would go to heaven, and I would go to hell. I was aware of the fact that their life was theirs and that mine was mine. I was solely responsible for my life alone. I was petrified. I remember asking my mom every night before I would go to bed if she thought I might die that night. I was very worried. Finally one night she asked me if I wanted to talk to my dad about this fear. I said YES. Well, he was in the tub, but I would not wait, I had business to take care of! We talked and I understood my need to personally acknowledge to God my short fall; to recognize the work that Jesus had done on my behalf; and I had to personally accept that free gift and then willingly surrender my lie to Him as Lord and Savior of my life. I was so relieved! This was October 5th, 1985.
We would then move into what is still my favorite house ever! The ‘Massmann house’; it was amazing! It was an old country style home. It was very large and we each got our own room. The yard surrounded the whole house and in the back there was a little ‘hill’ that was fun to roll down. This house was on a dead-end street and it had a guard’s station so I was allowed to freely roam the street. It was here I learned to ride my bike; an activity that I would love to do for years to follow. I would ride up and down the street while pretending to be a news journalist.
One year we had a hurricane type storm although we were inland. The winds were unbelievable. Well, because our whole yard was fenced in by a 6 foot rod iron fence, my parents let us go out and play a little. We would go to one end of the yard run a little, jump, and the wind would carry us the rest of the yard! It was a blast. Joel and I would have to run to the inside corner of the house just to breath!
This yard also had a huge pine tree in the front yard. The limbs stretched about ten feet in every direction, but they didn’t actually start until about six feet of the ground. This created a shelter of sorts. It would become a favorite play spot for me.
It was also in this house that my Mother experienced a miscarriage, and then later another pregnancy resulting in my youngest brother, Jonathan. I was almost ten when he was born. He has Downs Syndrome. He has proven to be one of the best things in my live. He has taught me unconditional love, a joy for life and all of its experiences. He has taught me to appreciate the things that come easily to me and to work hard at the things that do not. He is a masterpiece of God and has the ability to teach the world so much about what really matters. I love you, Jonathan!

An Exercise in memory part II

Mom and Dad surrendered to the call to missions. I don’t remember many details of this next phase in my life either. I know we were in Richmond, VA for orientation and I remember one day of preschool lice classes there. I also remember there being a man who could talk like Donald Duck, but that is all. We also went to Costa Rica for a year for language school. My memories there begin to get a little clearer, but not too much. I remember a few days at Little Lights, my preschool. I remember eating rice and beans with every single meal (and I loved it—I still do.) I remember the rain being punctual every day and that you could outrun it or simply cross the street to the dry side. I remember walking to school every day while dad would tell us parts of the Lord of the Rings. I remember getting a new baby doll for my birthday. She had beautiful black STRAIGHT hair. I told mom and dad I would take perfect care of her…a few days later they scolded me for finding her on the floor :(. But by far, one of my absolute favorite memories of all time was Christmas.

We had nothing at all to decorate with. Mom has always made Christmas in our home very beautiful, and very special. We bought a tree and then we bought lots and lots of paper. We made all the ornaments for the tree. We made a fireplace for the wall with a fire and even the silhouette of a black cat off to the side. We hung some of our socks over the ‘fire’. I loved it. It was very special. I must mention, I do not remember it, but Jeff has never let me ‘forget’ the boy I was found hiding behind the couch with kissing.
I seem to remember no one in my family really caring for Costa Rica, but I have no bad memories that have stuck with me from that period of time. And as I have already mentioned, I was and still am very fond of the black beans and rice :).

An exercise in memories part I

True to the name of this blog I have made the conscious decision to be more intentional about remembering. And, of course, that has had me thinking back to some of my earliest memories. I am fortunate enough to have been born into a large (by today’s standards) family. I am one of six siblings (five still living.) I am the only girl. I am the middle child, but I also qualify as a firstborn (in personality) due to being the first and only one of my gender. I do not have any memories of being alone as a child. As a matter of fact, when I hear my children talk about their memories and especially when I hear my husband talk about his memories, I realize just how few memories of have of my very early childhood. I do not know why I did not retain many of these memories; perhaps it was the timing of my families move to a foreign country and all the other things my brain had to deal with, such as learning a new language. Regardless, the memories I do have are like a trailer to a movie. They exist in scenes that are in no particular chronological order, nor are they particularly significant events. They are just what I remember.
I was born in Greeley, CO; but lived in Windsor, CO for the first five years of my life. I remember taking a nap one day with my mom, and waking up in time to pop some popcorn and feed it to the birds as we waited for my older brothers, Jason and Jeff, to get home from school. I remember wanting so badly to play with my big brothers and I remember three of these special occasions. Once I played G.I. Joe with them and some other kids from the neighborhood. I was one of the girl team members and I had been kidnapped and taken to the sandbox (which my dad built me in our back yard.) The other Joel were going to rescue me. I did not realize that I played in my box most of the time just waiting for the ‘rescue’, I was just happy to be a part of the game. Another day I was Jason and Jeff’s detective agency secretary. I would stay in their room, answer the phone and cook them food while they were out solving cases. I am beginning to see a pattern here—I was really gullible. One day I actually got to go to a friend house with my brothers. I believe the boy we were playing with was an only child. I seem to remember he had a lot of toys. But the event that made this day memorable was that he didn’t seem to want to interrupt play time and had an ‘accident’ and I thought that was odd since he was older than me.
Again I do not know why there are the memories my mind has locked away to remember, but they are. I do also remember always choosing ‘Clap Your Hands’ as my pick to sing on the Sunday evenings where we would sing from the hymnal as people picked songs. I loved that song.
I remember going to my Mama and Papa’s with J & J without my mom and dad. Mama painted me up like a clown one day and on another day they took us to the store to pick out any candy we would like. I chose marshmallows and J & J picked packages of bubble gum. They then proceeded to chew multiple pieces at once and blew a bubble so big it got stuck all over their faces.
I do not remember much about these first few years. I do not remember my younger brother Josh at all. This saddens me. He was born when I was almost 3 and died a year later. I wish I had some memory of this. I also do not remember my younger brother Joel being born either. Somehow my memories of him begin when he was about two. He is in most of my memories from then on. I had a love-hate relationship with both Jeff who was 4 years older and Joel who was 3 ½ years younger. My oldest brother Jason has always been (in my memories) the peace keeper with me. He was probably too old (6yrs older) to really do much with me. Yet I do remember his last year at home feeling particularly close to him as he let me tag along with him quite often.
I also have a younger brother, Jonathan. He is awesome, and I will discuss him in a later post since he was born after these memories took place.
I do not remember these years, but I know they were important ones. My family when through a lot these few years. My parents surrendered their lives (and our) to the call to missions. They would embark our family on a truly unparalleled adventure. Now that I am a mother of five myself, I can only begin to appreciate the magnitude of the decision they made. Their belief and commitment to God is something I will always admire and strive to live up to. They were willing to leave all their comforts and family and friends and to take their five children to an unfamiliar country on an unfamiliar continent that spoke an unfamiliar language, to minister whole-heartedly to an unfamiliar culture without any promise of how thing would be for them or for us. Those next 14 years of my life would prove to be some of the best of my life. I thank God for calling our family to missions, and I thank mom and dad for being brave enough to go; and to lead us by example in how to take up your cross daily and follow Christ.

Count Your Blessings

One of my favorite movies to watch this time of year is 'White Christmas.' It is a classic and has so many great musical pieces in it. But one of my favorite songs in that movie is 'Count Your Blessings' ...when you're worried and you count sleep, just count your blessings instead of sheep...and you'll fall asleep, counting your blessings. Since I have had children I have struggled any time I wake at night to fall back to sleep. It seems as though my brain enjoys the uninterrupted thoughts it is able to have in a quiet house :). But it makes fr a very tired mommy. I have began adopting the idea this song proposes and praying thanksgiving and even intersession until I fall asleep. I'm not sure if it works faster or if I am just not as frustrated as I lay awake. But the idea is a great on for this time of year. I would like to imagine that I am sitting at the 'Christmas Tree of 2010' where God, my loving Father, has wrapped many planned out and wonderful gifts for me and those in my family. I would love to share a snapshot of those gifts. I will try hard not to forget any, but my Father is very generous, and I may inadvertently forget one.

• The very biggest gift under the tree is my favorite and by far the one that my Father had to sacrifice the most to give me. The description on the outside of the box describes the gift this way: 'But God demonstrates His own love towards (me), in that while (I) was yet a sinner, Christ died for (me)...For while (I) was an enemy, (I)was reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, (I) shall be saved by His life. Romans 5:8&10

My favorite Christmas song of all time puts it this way in the last verse:

On the night before Christmas

Mary laid down to res;

while Joseph, he paced the floor praying.

And in an every day stable,

in an everyday town,

in the hours to come,

God would wrap Himself up;

And come down from heaven and the world would forever be changed;

After the night before Christmas.

~'Night Before Christmas' Steven Curtis Chapman~

• The next gift I opened this year was the gift of a decade spent my wonderful husband Luke. It never ceases to amaze me how much God is able to squeeze into such a short time.
• I was allowed to open a 31 year of life, a gift indeed.
• I got a gift of a very healthy year, for both me and all my family.
• There are few words that could describe the gift of righteous pride I have been given at watching my children blossom into wonderful people, caring of others and growing in their own relationships with my Father.
• My Hannah is becoming more and more creative, as she nurtures her reading and writing interests, and uses the beautiful gift of song God has given her.
• My Noah is an amazingly sweet spirit. He is always concerned about the people around him. He is concerned for their feelings, their needs and their eternal future. He is becoming quite a handsome young man.
• My sweet and funny Abigail experienced the joy of growing and gaining a little more Independence by staring Kindergarten this year and she is flourishing! She is very happy and is a great friend to those around her. She and Hannah have become much closer now that they have school in common and this has been a particular prayer of mine for the past couple of years. I am so blessed in this regard.
• My Lily....she is amazing. She is soooooo smart. She misses NOTHING. She too has grown up so much this year and it is always a joy to be around her (although her high pitched voice can overwhelm you at times, because it never stopped:)
• My Sarah is a bundle of energy. She is funny and is learning to play well with her bigger brother and sisters. There is nothing she does not think she can do. She has an iron will, she is very independent, and she also closed the chapter on diapers for this family for a long long time!
• Luke has completed two very successful semesters in his masters program.
• He gave us a roof over our heads
• a car (two actually) to get around
• food to eat
• clothes to wear
• many laughs throughout the ear
• some tears to put things in perspective and remind us that we still live in a fallen world.
• a WONDERFUL visit with the entire Mike Dietz family in July (first time in who knows how long.)
• an opportunity to see all the living grandparents on both sides of both families.
• the opportunity o welcome a new sister-in-law to the family
• a beautiful new niece and the help she needed with her legs (she has clubbed feet.)
• a new job which is PERFECT for my little brother whom I love so dearly.
• the opportunity to once more participate in Community Bible Study which has meant so much to me.
• a wonderful VBS, community grill, fall festival, and 2 children's programs at church.
• and so many more that I know I am forgetting at this moment.

Thank You, Father, for a wonderful Christmas this 2010. You have been good; So very, very good. I pray that I will be a good steward of Your gifts to me and that when others look at me, they see You and give all the glory to You, the giver of all good and perfect gifts.