I sit here today on this Thursday, May 28th, in the living room watching my precious and chubby seven month old Sarah bounce up and down and tackle her toys. I realize that it has been seven months today since our ordeal began; and I feel comfortable saying it has pretty much concluded and overwhelmingly well- all to God's credit.
I saw a young lady at library yesterday who I have met once or twice before and she had not seen me since. She told me she had heard my story and began asking me questions. One that she asked was if this event had changed how I see life, and I said yes. It has helped me see life in the context of eternity, and to realize that life is a precious and short experience and that we have the daily choice to make: do we let the small irritants of life suck the joy out of us, or do we live each day grateful that we are able to experience such irritants. I have a poster that I have always liked that shows a cartoon character holding an ice cream cone and looking down at the scoop of ice cream which has fallen on the floor and is melting. The caption reads something like this: "bad things happen so that we will be able to recognize the difference between them and the good things in life." If I have the ability to get irritated at something it can only mean that there must be much better things in my life that are not so irritating for me to compare them to...
...funny...I just had to pause this entry to take care of the spilled bubbles in the girls room which I had specifically hidden high and out of their reach, only to discover that Lily had just dirtied the pair of panties she had put on not five minutes ago. God has a good sense of humor doesn't He? :)...

So to review, yes, this event has changed how I see my life. But more than that, it has developed how I see God. It has helped me understand a little better the concept of His sovreignty. He is absolutely sovreign. I have come to understand His goodness, and not because of the fact that He chose to spare my life, although that helped. I have come to see a little better that the mere fact that we exist to begin with is His merciful act toward us. The fact that we continue to breathe in and out is an act of His grace every second of every day. He continues to sustain the lives of believers and unbelievers alike because He is gracious, even when it cost Him EVERYTHING. He gave up everything to redeem mankind --the ultimate show of His love and grace; and because we are all tainted by sin we know that not a one of us merited or deserved that grace. How can we say that He is unfair when some choose to deny the gift He has freely given them but that was NOT freely obtained!!! Every day that He gives us is an extension of His grace, and in the life of believers, death is our passage out of our sinful and imperfect flesh into His marvelous light--what grace!! We know His ways and His wisdom are so vastly higher than ours that it baffles me that we would seek to judge God's mercy, grace, and justice by human, imperfect, vastly limited standards. What a privilege it is to be called children of such an awesome, all loving, and all caring God. I pray that each one reading knows my God personally. I know without a doubt that the reason I am still here is to introduce as many people as possible to Him and His unbelievable grace. God bless your day-- and since you are alive enough to be reading this...I take it He has (not because of my words, but because you have just breathed another gracious breath of life.)